Yet Another Interracial Online Dating Study

race-online-dating-mouseIn the fall of 2009, dating website OKCupid published a semi-controversial study on racial preference in online dating. Now, another group ventures to provide insight on the way race impacts online dating in the United States. Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley conducted a study analyzing stated preferences and online dating patterns. The study has yet to be published but has some results available in a university press release. It concludes that the United States hasn’t yet reached a post-racial era. Which shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.

The study, following the method of OKCupid, considered the online preferences of more than one million subscribers to a mainstream online dating service. Each subscriber stated a dating preference: for someone of their own race, for someone outside of their race, or for someone of any race. The researchers’ focus was on the racial preferences of blacks and whites, with secondary concern given to other racial and ethnic groups.

So who was the most willing to online date outside of their race? The study found that young, black, and male daters were the most likely to state they had no preference and were open to dating women of any race.

Women were most likely to state some sort of preference, as were whites and older people. But what was more interesting was that even the white men and women who claimed to have no preference had initiating and response patterns which indicated preference for other whites.

white-race-preference-datingWhite men and women were more likely to contact whites than they were to contact other groups. Upwards of 80 percent of whites who stated “no preference” contacted whites. On the other extreme, around 5 percent of these “no preference” whites had any contact with black daters. The numbers were even more imbalanced when it came to initiating contact. While the percentage of messages sent by whites to others whites was the same as the number who had any contact with whites, only 3 percent of contacts sent by whites were to black subscribers. However, blacks, especially black women, also initiated contact with those of their own race more than they initiated contact with whites.

The lead researcher, psychologist Greg Mendelsohn, offers a simplistic theory for why blacks were more likely to contact whites than the reverse: social gain. He says that blacks may be trying to move up in social status by intermarrying with whites. He neglects to mention that there may be some self-selection involved — blacks on a mainstream dating website may be more open to dating interracially than blacks on majority black dating websites. That wouldn’t be the case with whites who make up the majority on dating websites. Depending on the percentages of each race involved, ratios must also be taken into account.

The UC Berkeley study is scheduled to be released in the near future. Until then, a more thorough analysis of the methods and results will have to wait.

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40 thoughts on “Yet Another Interracial Online Dating Study

  1. This is sure interesting. I am not an expert (quite contrary) on how to judge the validity of these results, but what I like about this type of study is that it takes into account action (what people do) and not just what they say. Still, I am not sure how valid are these dating sites for judging the situation.

    One problem I see is that most of the people who’d prefer to date interracially use IR dating websites, not the “general” ones, I think.

  2. Mira,

    “One problem I see is that most of the people who’d prefer to date interracially use IR dating websites, not the “general” ones, I think.”

    Hmmm. Maybe so. And definitely for whites. But if you’re not white, all dating websites can essentially function as an interracial dating site. There will be all kinds of people at general dating websites. If you have a preference, you can just tick off boxes.

  3. True. But what about non-whites who want to date within race. I guess there are specialized websites for that, “black singles” or something). Right?

    So I guess whites use “general” websites to date other whites, and specialized ones to date interracially, and non-whites use specialized websites to date within race and general ones to date interracially. Is that how it goes? Or there are no rules whatsoever?

  4. Mira,

    “But what about non-whites who want to date within race. I guess there are specialized websites for that, “black singles” or something). Right?”

    Right. There are certain websites for many of the non-plain bread white American groups. Not only race/ethnicity, but culture and religion as well: ones for Jews, Muslims, etc.

    I don’t think there are any rules as far as who uses which websites for what. I doubt they think much about it: whites tend to see themselves as the default and most people on mainstream dating sites are white so, unless they are specifically looking to only date interracially, they’d go to any general dating website. On the other hand, an Indian woman, for example, who was looking to date only or mostly Indian men would probably go to a website catering to Indian singles. The number of Indian men on that site vs. a mainstream site would likely be much higher and she also knows they are too looking for an Indian partner.

  5. This is pretty interesting–I’m hoping the research isn’t as shoddy as the OKCupid study. It doesn’t seem like the man who analyzed the trends of the study considered general availability (numbers, like you said). Black people go into a general online dating site knowing they’re in the minority (just like in real life), so in order to expand their dating pool (which is pretty much the point of online dating) of course they’ll have to be open (if they weren’t already) to non-Black partners. Internet dating is still touted as a place for people to “broaden their horizons”, and White people don’t really need to do so, since they see themselves as a default.

    And let’s be real; for some White people (especially White men), “interracial dating” means East Asians and light-skinned Latinas.

  6. On another subject, I’ve never been on OKCupid, but I wonder if they took into consideration the “validity” of people’s self-designations on race. I was going to sign a former friend up for an IR dating site once, and one thing that puzzled me as I looked through the profiles is that many “regular-looking” White people had listed a bunch of races and ethnicities (I remember Native American was popular). That’s one of my biggest reasons for being skeptical of the OKCupid study–Native American men were ranked highest, even though they are around .5% of the population? Many dating sites probably don’t limit the number of races/ethnicities you can check, which skews the whole “whom you’re responding to” bit.

  7. Jasmin,

    “I’m hoping the research isn’t as shoddy as the OKCupid study.”

    I’ll be waiting for the study to be published. Depending on the methods and (other) results, I may do a follow-up. This study seems a tad bit better than the OKCupid study, but it also seems like a “me too” tag-along sort of study, so it may have similar methods.

    “And let’s be real; for some White people (especially White men), “interracial dating” means East Asians and light-skinned Latinas.”

    No. It also means select South Asians, Persians, and other “exotic” women. :)

    But I found it interesting that white women were less open than white men to IR dating in this study (and others). Some people claim that white women are open to dating black men, or moreso than white men are to dating black women. But that doesn’t seem to be the case in any of these types of studies. What these studies do suggest are that black men are much more open to dating other women, including white women.

    “I looked through the profiles is that many “regular-looking” White people had listed a bunch of races and ethnicities (I remember Native American was popular). That’s one of my biggest reasons for being skeptical of the OKCupid study–Native American men were ranked highest, even though they are around .5% of the population?”

    This is where numbers play a big part, and need to be controlled for. If there are only 25 Native men on a site, the chance of most of these men being contacted is very high. Both due to random chance (if there were 25000 instead, the likelihood of most of them being contacted is a lot lower) and perceived rarity which increases their value to daters.

    And true: people put down races/ethnicities that most others wouldn’t classify them as. Many people want to claim the 2 percent (or 0 percent, according to most studies) Native ancestry they have, so someone checking off “Native American” or “Multiracial” might not actually be.

  8. Here we go again. Another (race based) study. What struck me was this:

    Greg Mendelsohn offers a ” simplistic theory for why blacks were more likely to contact whites than the reverse: social gain. He says that blacks may be trying to move up in social status by intermarrying with whites. ”

    Way to generalize. Really now. He might have a point if he were talking about a lot of black men who date interracially, but really? Climb up the social ladder? Not all of us equate white to all things good and desirable. Some of us do have some self pride, and race is not the but-for factor in our choice of mate. Perhaps we have something in common (goals, aspirations, achievements), and a connection of some sort? LOL.
    I get the feeling that these sorts of studies are conducted primarily in the US, where people are still stuck in 1812 with regarding attitudes towards race. It is very polarizing. Who cares why people who are of different colours get together? They are getting with other human beings. End of story.

  9. Hi Robynne,

    “Way to generalize. Really now.”

    Precisely my thoughts.

    While there are certain people/groups who will admit to using interracial relationships as a means to scale the social ladder (not saying any names!), it’s way too simple to think that must be the case overall. The main faulty assumption people seem to be making here is thinking that all non-white people are basically the same and have similar outlooks. They are not and do not, by far. This is why I stay away from terms like “people of color” and use non-white/non-black, etc. There are huge differences between races, and genders.

    And there are a million and one reasons why black women, for example, would be more open to dating white men. Why, of all these reasons, propose “they desire to move up in the power structure”?

    “Perhaps we have something in common (goals, aspirations, achievements), and a connection of some sort? LOL.”

    No, we don’t. We’re just wallowing in self-loathing and want to be white. :(

    /sarcasm

    “I get the feeling that these sorts of studies are conducted primarily in the US”

    Yes, they are. But in the UK as well. Except the researchers in the UK try to act more racially progressive and don’t say some of things people in the U.S. say outright…

  10. Oh, yes. Social ladder argument.

    In addition to making non-whites seem like golddigers, it also makes it clear they see all non-whites as fundamentally different than whites. It makes it clear that what is “natural” is to date people of your own race. As if finding a compatible person outside your race is impossible, so the only reason you might want to try IR dating is a) climbing the social ladder (if you’re non-white), b) fulfill a sexual fantasy (if you’re white).

  11. When I said: “it also makes it clear they see all non-whites as fundamentally different than whites”, by “they” I meant people who commented on the results of this survey. Greg Mendelsohn, etc.

  12. Mira,

    “It makes it clear that what is “natural” is to date people of your own race.

    Many people think this. In their mind, it’s just natural to be drawn only or primarily to people of your own perceived/attributed/etc race. (And a few are bold enough to come up with some convoluted evolutionary psychology reason why this is.)

    Sure, in the U.S., most people marry within race. But the U.S. is also strongly divided by race due to historical factors that linger, so the high rate of intraracial marriage may have less to do with inherent attraction and more to do with that division. In contradiction, it happens time and time again: many people who have grown up or lived mainly with another race/ethnicity become primarily attracted to people of that race/ethnicity. Not “theirs”. And what about people who don’t use race as a way to divide people into groups?… So much for that theory.

    “by “they” I meant people who commented on the results of this survey. Greg Mendelsohn, etc.”

    The first thing I did when I read his commentary is look him up at the university’s website. I had a strong feeling he was white, but he could’ve been black (and thus talking about the reasons he would date interracially…). But nope, he’s white. Isn’t it so cute when whites manage to simultaneously portray non-whites as essentially different and pat themselves on the back? :)

  13. Greg Mendelsohn offers a ” simplistic theory for why blacks were more likely to contact whites than the reverse: social gain. He says that blacks may be trying to move up in social status by intermarrying with whites. ”

    NONSENSE!

    Why then this: “However, blacks, especially black women, also initiated contact with those of their own race more than they initiated contact with whites”.

  14. foosrock,

    Lol.

    I’m going to wait until the study is published to get the exact numbers, but, yes, blacks also contacted each other more than they contacted whites. Black women moreso than black men. That was put as a side-note as if it weren’t important.

  15. Well, I guess this study (whatever its results may be) offers a good opportunity to talk about agenda and subjectivity in science. Don’t get me wrong: I am one of those people who think it’s impossible to be 100% objective, and that all researches and scientists should be aware of that. But hey, at least try a little…

  16. Mira, true. I don’t think they had an agenda with this study, though, they just knew what the results were likely to be. Similar studies have been done, on 0nline dating and real life dating. So, yes, they subjectively interpreted the data, and/or the people who were in charge of the press release focused on only a couple portions of the data.

  17. “……….. but, yes, blacks also contacted each other more than they contacted whites. Black women moreso than black men. That was put as a side-note as if it weren’t important”.

    Most black women I know PREFER black men!. Even biracial black women!!!. Personally, I think this pisses off many white (American) men who turn it around to soothe their enormous ego, but am so not buying it. I have ways ways tooo many white (European) guys telling me that black women are not interested in them, my exhusband being one. I say, STOP reading these surveys that do not touch reality, but are skewed to suit an agenda. Reality’s really a bitch.
    PS: Excuse me unlady like language, but sometimes one need to get all Irish.

  18. foosrock,

    “Most black women I know PREFER black men!… Personally, I think this pisses off many white (American) men who turn it around to soothe their enormous ego”

    It’s funny that you say this. Some people believe it’s the other way around: black women claim to prefer black men as a way to reject white men before white men reject them. Which one is it? I’m not sure. I think both probably have some truth. One thing that can be said is that neither black women nor white men really “know” each other.

    “Excuse me unlady like language, but sometimes one need to get all Irish.”

    Lol. Not a problem. :)

  19. These studies bug me, since I don’t really understand the purpose of them. Is it to measure racial progress? Is it to identify trends in racial mixing? If so, to what end?

    And yes – the inherent assumption in the theory of “social gain” for non-whites is telling. It also dismissed any racial or ethnic backlash a non-white person may experience.

    I think it’s natural to prefer to date and marry from the group with whom you have the most exposure and interaction. It’s why I’m fine with black women who prefer black men – assuming they are not simultaneously complaining about lack of available partners, cultural differences, black men dating out, etc. If that’s what you prefer, you take the bad with the good, to some degree. But on the flip side, as you said Alee, there are people who grow or are exposed to those of a different race and/or ethnicity, and prefer that group as dating and marrying candidates.

  20. Hi Daphne :)

    “These studies bug me, since I don’t really understand the purpose of them. Is it to measure racial progress? Is it to identify trends in racial mixing? If so, to what end?”

    This study, the researchers claim, was done to measure how far the U.S. has progressed racially (some have claimed the U.S. is post-racial because we now have a mixed president and black First Family). Some people believe an increase in interracial dating and marriage is a signal of racial progress. I understand the reasoning, but for many other reasons, I think that while it could be a sign of racial progress, it doesn’t necessarily have to be. In fact, it can be a sign of the opposite.

    “It’s why I’m fine with black women who prefer black men – assuming they are not simultaneously complaining about lack of available partners, cultural differences, black men dating out, etc.”

    But they do, oh, they do. :)

    They should be able to complain though: if they have a preference, they can’t much help that, even if what they prefer is scarce. But I also notice that many people who claim to have a preference have rarely or never tried anything besides their alleged preference.

    Personally, while I know about the official number of black women vs. black men, I don’t see how black women who prefer black men can’t find one. IME, they are everywhere, and single. If the issue is specifics — education, career, behavior, etc., and not numbers, then I completely understand.

  21. I don’t see how black women who prefer black men can’t find one. IME, they are everywhere, and single.

    Agreed. Ironically, I got hit on by the highest number of “Good Black Men” when I was at a predominantly White college. :-)

    Daphne pretty much summed up my thoughts–BW who prefer BM are fine by me, but if you’re always complaining about how there are none/they suck, then yea I’m going to look at you sideways.

    However, the women I’ve known personally who’ve felt that way have also tended to resent me and other BW involved with non-BM. It’s as if they feel we’re being either a) greedy, for picking from both pools or b) ungrateful, for garnering the attentions of Black men yet still choosing to date someone else.

  22. “He says that blacks may be trying to move up in social status by intermarrying with whites.” WOW! I’ve dated interracially for a while (a long time), and this thought has never crossed my mind…other thoughts have…but not this thought. IMO, when black women date interracially, social status doesn’t seem to be imperative; however, on the contrary, for black men, it is.

  23. “Ironically, I got hit on by the highest number of “Good Black Men” when I was at a predominantly White college. :-)”

    This is a good point and for any black women looking for colleges and grad schools and also looking for Good Black Men™, I suggest researching majority white colleges and universities.

    There was a sizable amount of Good Black Men™ looking for black women at my college. Since there were so few black people, period, blacks tended to look for each other and stick together (at least, the ones who acknowledged their blackness…). On other hand, there were lots of black men at my sister’s historically black college, but they had 15 million black women going after them because they were outnumbered. And then of course the woman students complained how there were so little men for them to date. Should’ve went to a majority college…

  24. Eliss,

    “I’ve dated interracially for a while (a long time), and this thought has never crossed my mind…other thoughts have…but not this thought.”

    Same. I was completely oblivious. But I guess I should feel lucky I am moving up in the power structure, huh? :D

    “IMO, when black women date interracially, social status doesn’t seem to be imperative; however, on the contrary, for black men, it is.”

    It’s never been my experience that black women think about social status via interracial relations either. I’ve never once heard a black women in real life even imply this, and I know several black women who are in interracial relationships. I have heard others say or imply this. But as I mentioned previously, all non-white people do not think or act alike; they shouldn’t be lumped together.

  25. Alee,

    LOL, the sister under me is at an HBCU too, though she’s not the Black men only type. She seems to find the men there lackluster in general, but it is a small school (Clark-Atlanta).

  26. Jasmin,

    Seriously, HBCUs are not the place to date. Unless you’re a guy — my brother never lacked dates in college. They were booked back to back. Women would go out of their way to ensure that they were the number one pick, knowing they had lots of competition. Sad, really.

    Then, like this study shows, many of the guys were open to non-black women. They would date non-black women outside of campus, frustrating the situation even further. Good (or great) that your sister is open to other men. That should be helpful.

  27. LOL, she has the weirdest crushes, like Zack Efron (she says it’s the calves :-P). But she’s also very standoffish towards guys, and they love it so they keep coming back.

  28. Hi Alee. :)

    They should be able to complain though: if they have a preference, they can’t much help that, even if what they prefer is scarce.

    Good point. Their preference is their preference, but it’s usually not a matter of numbers, from what I hear. It’s a matter of perceived quality. That’s why some black women, especially those who became socially mobile due to education and/or employment, are encouraged to give ol’ dude who is a…….um, sanitation engineer a chance. Cause, you know, all you need in some social circles, to be a Good Black Man™ is to have a steady job, and not be a baby daddy. Psychological and emotional maturity isn’t even on the radar! I suspect it may be a bit different for women who were born and raised in a middle or higher class environment, though.

    Jasmine – LOL @ calves! I guess we all have our physical attributes we appreciate! I appreciate some nice calves, myself! ;)

    I attended a HBCU as well – Spelman – and yes, I agree that HBCUs are not the place to date. I learned that my freshman year. Although, I think the dynamic may be different (compared to co-ed campuses like CAU) as Spelman is ladies’ only, and the fellas were all up in and through our campus! I’m considerably older than your sister’s demographic, Jasmine (I’m 33), so I can only imagine it has gotten worse.

    While I appreciated my Spelman education, if I knew then what I know now, I would have attended a “majority” college. For my future children, I’ll use my subtle, yet powerful powers of persuasion to nudge them in that direction (muwhahaha). Particularly my daughters.

  29. Daphne, you graduated from Spelman? So we have two Spelman alumna commenters — you and Eliss (integratedmemoirs).

    “all you need in some social circles, to be a Good Black Man™ is to have a steady job, and not be a baby daddy. “

    Well… since you said it. :)

    “For my future children, I’ll use my subtle, yet powerful powers of persuasion to nudge them in that direction (muwhahaha).”

    Lol. Good job. They have a smart mother.

    I like nice calves too — it’s one of the most attractive features in men.

  30. My answer is, who cares? Not sure what the big deal about them is. I think its all of their media, brainwashing, and dominance that has some people(some minorities) in open arms to them. Deep down they know this. They sure don’t look like supermodels or have the heart of gold.

  31. Daphne,

    My sister is the rebellious middle child, so she defiantly bucks the pressure (from her peers) to try to nail a Good Black Man (TM) down. But as she tells me, the AUC (is that what the collection of campuses is called) is known as a haven for dudes on the down-low, so she’s not interested in fishing in those waters anyway.

    An HBCU wouldn’t have been for me–many of them are too “small” for my liking, and as bougie as I am, even I couldn’t stand to be around Bougie Black Folks (TM) all the time. Yet, I wouldn’t encourage my kids to go to ND either–I don’t want them to grow up to be self-hating Black/mixed people, and Jews are scarce there anyway.

  32. Alee – yep, class of 2000. Regarding GBM…..unfortunately, the standards tend to be rather low.

    Jasmin,
    You got it right – the AUC (Atlanta University Center) refers to all of the HBCUs right there together. And from what I hear, Morehouse in particular, is notorious for the DL syndrome. Regarding BBFs, I understand what you mean. Maybe because I’m an introvert who was from a working class family, but I never really got caught up in that scene. I was too busy working some PT job, doing college work-study, or at the library. Many American blacks don’t really discuss the nuances of class because of the racial prizm in which they view the world. So, “bougie” turns into anything one does that’s different from whatever is considered “black culture,” rather than a class distinction. Anyway, I keep in touch with few fellow Spelman alumna, usually due to the BBF perspective. I have no tolerance for that ish.
    Education does not prevent ignorance.

  33. ^^^Agreed. I don’t have the patience for Black people whose favorite conversation topic is how different they are from other Black people. I’m like, OK we get it, you’re a special snowflake. :roll:

  34. Gigi,

    “My answer is, who cares? Not sure what the big deal about them is. I think its all of their media, brainwashing, and dominance that has some people(some minorities) in open arms to them. Deep down they know this. They sure don’t look like supermodels or have the heart of gold.”

    First: Lol.

    Second: I agree that some of the interest in whites by non-white groups is media brainwashing. People like to think they are impervious to media, but you can’t see something day in and day out and not be affected by it. Even if it’s just in a small way, like preferring non-white people with thinner lips or something similar, you’re still affected.

    Third: Welcome. :)

  35. Thanks for the welcome. :) Do whites somehow have a higher success rate at finding true love? Do they have less marital issues? I don’t think so. Are their divorce rates low? From what I understand there are no race or class that is more or less prone to divorce. I guess I’m trying to understand the hype? Because I don’t see it.

  36. Gigi,

    In the U.S., there is a racial/ethnic difference in divorce rate. In general, blacks have a higher divorce rate (and lower marriage rate) than whites and Asians. Of course, socioeconomic and educational factors have to be taken into account when considering this this. I doubt whites have a lower divorce rate because they were kissed on the nose by fairies.

    The hype is that they’ve been set up as the “norm”, the “accepted”, etc.

  37. Thats odd, because I’ve read “studies” that claim otherwise. I’ve read studies that claim whites have a higher divorce rate because they were more likely to get married to one another. I’ve read one that said Native Americas report the highest rate of divorce.Now you are saying blacks. I’ve read studies that said there was no race that was more or less prone to divorce. I feel that statement is most true. It all comes down to personality and who is involved in a relationship.

    I’ve also noticed that blacks always tend to get the “short end of the stick with these “stats”, so to speak. I’m starting to have a hard time believing any “stats” that are controlled by whites. Its starting to make me believe that blacks are the scapegoat in US society.
    I’m not talking about the what the majority accepts(whites), I’m talking from a viewpoint as a black woman. I don’t see the hype. Just lots of media brainwashing and “stats” that are starting to appear more and more bogus by the minute..

  38. Gigi,

    Asians have the lowest divorce rate in the U.S., I believe. I am trying to pull up Census numbers, as those are the official “official” numbers, but to no avail. But that’s what it was last I checked.

    I don’t remember the stats for Native Americans: they may have the highest rate. But they are also a very small portion of the U.S. population (around 1 percent; much more in Canada). I only read a few sources that state that blacks generally have a higher divorce rate than whites and Asians. Sources that I’ve found to be generally unbiased. And the study linked to in “See also” found black women/white men have the lowest divorce rate of all pairings. Keep in mind that all groups had a lower rate of divorce and higher rate of marriage in the past, including blacks.

    You should absolutely be suspicious about certain statistics put out there. Some researchers and institutions have agendas.

  39. A lot of the reason that black men and women seem more open to dating others is the numbers thing. There are so many beautiful women in the world: black women of different skin-tones, body types, personalities, white women who are fair or darker, blonde, brunette, redhead, different women from the Near East, and so many different women who are just lumped together under the “Asian” label. I’m an African-American man. I find that just walking around San Francisco, the percentage of black people on the streets is pretty low. Consequently, a number of the people that I feel really attracted to are not black. It’s not a preference thing, at least not for me, and it’s not like I’m trying to marry-up or whatever the phrase is.

    Let me tell you, it doesn’t help your social status to have people frequently giving you dirty looks or lashing out at you because you’re in an IR relationship.

    “Who cares why people who are of different colours get together?”

    If one of the things drawn from these studies is that there is still a Race problem in America and that it plays out in a major way in the Dating world, I would say that this jibes with what I’ve experienced. We ask questions like the one behind this study as part of our continued discussion of Race. There are still strong biases that work against large groups of people in this country.

    It occurred to me — in a conversation that I had with one of my sisters, a couple of days ago — that the single greatest source of difficulty, stress, and plain trouble in my life has been racial discrimination. She felt that she could definitely say the same thing and, in fact, every black person that I’ve mentioned the thought to since has concurred. I’d say we do need to be studying and discussing and simply working on it.

  40. luckystarlion,

    “A lot of the reason that black men and women seem more open to dating others is the numbers thing.”

    Well, I grew up in New England but only one out of the guys I dated wasn’t black. So I don’t really know about that one…I really think that if you’re going to date intra(or inter)racially, you will.

    “Consequently, a number of the people that I feel really attracted to are not black.”

    This is what I think is really the issue besides pure numbers. If you’re in an environment like that, you get used to and become attracted to that aesthetic. So even when you go elsewhere where there may be other sorts of people, you still like that look over others.

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