The Male-Identified Woman

male-identified-womanEncouraging sexism, opposing gender equality, and setting societal progress back centuries. All at a location near you.

The male-identified woman is a woman whose beliefs, mindset, and attitude favor the male gender, often at the expense of the opposite sex. She may be traditional or modern, classically feminine in appearance or more masculine. But all male-identified women support what enhances the status and lives of men, and opposes what increases equality of the genders.

The male-identified woman often comes from a background where the male point of view was greatly emphasized or de-emphasized. In the first case, she may have had a mother who, willingly or unwillingly, took second place to her husband. The male-identified woman learned through her upbringing that a woman must always defer to men and respect their desires.

In the second case, the male-identified woman may have had a father who was absent (physically or mentally) and a mother who was head of the household. She grew to resent her mother’s rule and came to associate with the male presence she never had, finding refuge in the thoughts and actions of men.

The male-identified woman can be found everywhere, and is not difficult to recognize as she tends to be predictable and follows a pattern of behavior. A woman is likely male-identified, if she says or does several of the following:

  • Encourages women to take part in relationship dynamics which advantage men such as polygyny and decreased emphasis on female income and education
  • Blames feminism for every male-female issue and/or proclaiming those who disagree with her to be feminists
  • Engages in male-oriented forums or websites
  • Is overly obsequious or fawning over any men around her
  • Claims to have no female friends
  • Joins men in their complaints about women
  • Claims every gender difference is based in biology, especially if that difference favors men
  • Claims that men are naturally advantaged in several areas
  • Argues with women who oppose sexist practices

If you run into a male-identified woman (and you will, if you haven’t already), don’t attempt to argue with her or point out the flaws in her thinking.

Usually the male-identified woman is unaware of just how oriented she is to the male sex. She sees her views and values as “wise” and “common sense”, and competing views as the opposite. She’s likely held her beliefs for years and sees them as the only correct ones. She has no desire to change her mind — in most cases, she will try to change yours.

If you disagree with something the male-identified woman has said or done, the best you can do is offer your point of view and hope that others, and maybe she, can see its merit. Don’t push your views. You don’t need to — for the most part, the male-identified woman is fighting a losing battle.

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16 thoughts on “The Male-Identified Woman

  1. Did you write this post because I said women should not give it up to the first boyfriend that comes along for their own sake? I hope not….

  2. Nkosazana,

    Lol no, I didn’t. I didn’t even see where you wrote that? :)

    (Though I do remember you saying something similar to that, a few times.)

    In general, what I write is not really “inspired” by anyone or anything in particular. Many of them are ideas I’ve always had and/or written about in advance or ideas I’ve been thinking about for some time. The exceptions to that would be the pieces on current events or things I’ve done/seen recently.

    I wouldn’t say any of the female commenters here are particularly male-identified.

  3. I have a dear friend like this. It took me a long time to figure it out. She would say crazy things to me like she thought it was reasonable for male mechanics to ignore women customers they find unattractive. What?

    The thing about these women is that I don’t see them having better success with men either personally or professionally. Which makes their behavior really nonsensical!

  4. Hi Sherry,

    “…would say crazy things to me like she thought it was reasonable for male mechanics to ignore women customers they find unattractive. What?”

    A common belief among male-identified women is that women are supposed to look beautiful [for men]; it is their job. Male-identified women are some of the largest female supporters of the beauty bind.

    “The thing about these women is that I don’t see them having better success with men”

    Because many of their beliefs work against them. You can’t tell the world/men that women are less than and oppose equal treatment, then expect them to treat you otherwise.

  5. “Male-identified”? I thought it meant “women who identify as males”, not women who discriminate against women and who think men are better.

    Strangely enough, I don’t really know much of those women. And at the same time, I do. It might be a cultural thing: I know them, but they don’t really fit this description (that’s why I think it might be a cultural thing). For example, I don’t know any woman who encourages polygyny (here understood as being involved with more than one woman at the time)… But I know many of those who believe that’s how men ARE (cheating bastards), and that a woman must learn to cope with that. In short, this behavior is socially acceptable for men, and girls and women are taught how to live with it. “Why would you want a guy that no other woman likes anyway?”, they say. Or: “be proud because he uses that slut for sex; it means he respects you and want to have a serious relationship with you”.

    And that’s just one example.

    I think it might be a case of self-hate or, more probably, a bad way to get attention from men and presenting yourself as better than other women. (For example, women who slut shame other women in order to elevate themselves). I think women who act as described in this post are deeply affected by culture’s sexist standards and take them as a rule and absolute truth. So they try to follow those rules. But the thing is, the rules are not as absolute as it seems.

  6. Mira,

    ‘ “Male-identified”? I thought it meant “women who identify as males” ‘

    It could mean that; that’s one meaning. But not the one this refers to.

    “I know them, but they don’t really fit this description”

    As long as they fit the general mindset of favoring men over women, they are male-identified. The above, like encouraging polygyny, are just details.

    I’m sure you know plenty of these types of women. The way you describe your country they might make up half of the women there.

    ‘ “Why would you want a guy that no other woman likes anyway?, they say” ‘

    Uhhh… I guess that’s one way to look at it. ;)

    “I think women who act as described in this post are deeply affected by culture’s sexist standards and take them as a rule and absolute truth.”

    Yes, they do.

  7. I have known many women who fit this description, and they all had this weird “men have such a hard life”, “Pity all the menfolk” mentality. Makes no sense to me. It’s waaaay harder to be a woman, especially if you are a smart and ambitious woman surrounded by sexist men and women. They also tend to blame other women for everything that goes wrong in man-woman relationships, if the kids don’t turn out perfect, etcetera. And they usually can’t get or keep a man themselves, which may be why they seem to resent other women so much.

    I find their desire to break other women down, or hold them back, quite puzzling.

  8. Hi Jessica :)

    ‘I have known many women who fit this description, and they all had this weird “men have such a hard life”, “Pity all the menfolk” mentality.’

    Indeed. They understand that it’s hard being a man in society, but they fail to see how it’s hard to be a woman… Amazingly. They also fail to see the many privileges men have in society.

    “They also tend to blame other women for everything that goes wrong in man-woman relationships, if the kids don’t turn out perfect, etcetera.”

    Yes, they do. You’ll often find male-identified women solely blaming mothers for their children’s poor behavior, or for the father leaving. It’s as if they think, “If only women could get it right!”

  9. Joins men in their complaints about women…”

    While ignorantly knocking themselves down in the process. I don’t get women like this at all. It’s as if they’re trying to prove “I’m better than that! I’m not like those women!” at their and all womankind’s expense.

  10. changingmoods,

    Exactly. That happens when you’re part of a historically oppressed or discriminated group. You begin to think there really is just something wrong with your group and you try to differentiate yourself. Too bad this doesn’t help anyone, in the end.

  11. I’d rather call them ‘male sexism worshippers’ rather than ‘male-identified’, because they don’t really identify as men.

  12. X, I guess you could use that term as well. ;)

    By male-identified we mean supporting and agreeing with masculinity and it’s ideals and the desires and needs of men.

  13. I agreed with much of what you said here except I didn’t follow this: “A woman is likely male-identified if she ‘Encourages women to take part in relationship dynamics which advantage men such as polygyny and decreased emphasis on male income and education.'”

    How does “decreased emphasis on male income and education” advantage men? Do you mean “decreased emphasis on FEMALE income and education”?

  14. To add this I want to put in the that there are some women who “soft” blame and benevolently put down other women. I see in the people who put down working moms as not being there for their children and letting their “selfishness” stop them from missing the important parts of their child lives.

    Another one is the woman who discourage other women from pursuing men or taking more active role in dating on the the premise of questioning do they have any “self worth for themselves.

    There are others but I can’t think of any right now and the ones you brought up are both familiar and foreign to me. This was a good read.

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