Men, Women, and Ogling

man-staringYesterday, as I was walking to the library to return some books, I noticed a guy in a car, stopped at a red light. I wouldn’t have noticed him, except he was straining his neck trying to look at me. I wasn’t sure at first, why exactly he was looking at me. The look on his face seemed as if he had just spotted a cerulean unicorn or Michael Jackson. His eyes were as far out of their sockets as they could go. When he looked me up and down, eyes still enlarged, I felt uncomfortable and probably looked just as I felt. He drove away slowly, still straining his neck (his hand was holding it), as cars honked at him to hurry.

This is only one incident in a lifelong string of such incidents. I’ve had men openly stare for minutes at my backside, bump into objects while trying to keep me in their vision, and lick their lips while watching me pass. Which leads me to ask: Why do men feel so comfortable visibly ogling women on the streets?

This type of behavior is not flattering, in fact, it is very off-putting. I’m sure that I would never give a guy the time of day if he were to ask for my number after eyeing me like I was his first meal in years. I do not buy the idea “Boys will be boys!” Men seem to be doing it on purpose, and without regard.

Women can be very physically attracted to a person at first glance too. I know I can be. Yet, I rarely spot women ogling men as men tend to ogle (and sometimes verbally harass) women. I would never stare at a man so blatantly because I would consider it an intrusion of their person and personal space.

How do you feel about ogling, particularly men ogling women they do not know? Has it happened to you in the past?

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7 thoughts on “Men, Women, and Ogling

  1. The majority of guys check girls bodies out, some do it more quickly and subtlely though. Are you wearing those skin tight jeans again??

    But a lot feel like they don’t have to do that while in a car, because they’re going to be gone in seconds.

  2. AJ,

    I was wearing tweed pants! Not very sexy, I’d think.

    I know that people will notice and look; that’s fine. But when you’re staring so obviously, without even attempting to appear as if you’re not, that’s another thing altogether.

  3. Agreed, it’s a turn off. I remember one time Zek and I were on the bus, standing facing each other, and apparently some guy standing behind me was just staring at my butt. He looked up, right into Z’s face, and Z cocked his head like “really”?

    The lip-licking/smacking reminds me of the hyenas from The Lion King. Not hot.

  4. Jasmin,

    “He looked up, right into Z’s face, and Z cocked his head like “really”?

    LOL.

    That incident reminds me of when I was at the gym a few weeks ago on the elliptical. This guy, taking a break from his basketball game, decided to sit on the stairs behind me and just watch my butt. I was thinking “Is he serious?” If he would have stayed there longer than he did (he was behind me for a good 10-15 min), I would have said something to him like “Can I help you?”

  5. This is so annoying and, to be honest, I don’t know why men do that. When I ask this question, my male friends reply with some variation of “it’s a guy’s thing, women can’t understand our urges”. Riiiight. Like women don’t notice hot men on the street or don’t care about noticing attractive guys.

    I think men here believe women who dress “nice” or “provocatively” do that so men could stare at them, and that by staring, they are doing a favor to this women. “She obviously wants men to stare at her- look at what she’s wearing!” (It doesn’t have to be anything revealing, btw). So they will not even try to hide that they stare- in fact, they will do their best that the woman in question notices. They will accompany the stare with a whistle or a monkey-like sound if necessary.

    Now, I am not a type of a girl men stare at, so I don’t know how uncomfortable it can be, but it sure seems really pathetic. All I know it IS possible to take a look at somebody whose appearance you find attractive, WITHOUT being obnoxious. But I guess men who do this want to be seen.

  6. Mira,

    “When I ask this question, my male friends reply with some variation of “it’s a guy’s thing, women can’t understand our urges”. Riiiight. Like women don’t notice hot men on the street or don’t care about noticing attractive guys. “

    Exactly!

    This “women don’t care about looks” business needs to be thrown in the dustbin. I notice attractive men all the time. A lot of women I know say the same.

    “I think men here believe women who dress “nice” or “provocatively” do that so men could stare at them, and that by staring, they are doing a favor to this women…So they will not even try to hide that they stare- in fact, they will do their best that the woman in question notices. “

    Some men do think that women dress for them. Besides for dates and the like, and some women who are needy for attention, I think they are quite wrong.

    As for myself, I dress up to impress myself. I want to look in the mirror and think “Wow!” 🙂 I also like to express myself through my clothing; that’s my main objective. I want to show the kind of person I am.

    “They will accompany the stare with a whistle or a monkey-like sound if necessary. “

    LOL @ “monkey-like sound”. I don’t know what I would do if an (adult) person made monkey-like sounds at me.

  7. men who love their wives do not ogle it means they desire someone else they are thinking sexual thoughts great when they hit 60 still fantasising about 20 year olds

    Jo

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