Passive persons need not apply.
Among personality types which annoy me, the passive personality stands alone. Try as I may, I can not get myself to like or appreciate a passive person, or good qualities associated with passivity (which I’m not sure exist).
To be clear, by passive I don’t mean nice, laid-back, or cooperative. As a kind person myself, I like nice people, and a cooperative spirit is something to be admired. By passive I mean the say-yes-when-you-mean-no, avoid any direct action, and overly compliant.
I’ve tried to understand what irks me so much about the passive personality type — why this seemingly harmless personality never fails to exasperate me. I’ve honed in on three major factors:
The passive person rarely takes a stand
In attempts to satisfy everyone, or more importantly, not cause trouble for themself, the passive person makes a habit of taking an indefinite position on nearly everything. This doesn’t mean they don’t have an opinion on certain issues, but that they choose not to express them in the belief that they can save themselves the trouble of having people disagree with them. They are not honest.
The passive person is not open about their feelings
The passive person likes to stay in the background, watching things intently. But when asked how they feel about something, they hesitate to express their feelings, or agrees with whatever they believe the asker feels about the situation. When truly bothered by an incident they don’t become more open, but they do become more aggressive. Passive-aggressive, that is.
Passive can equal passive-aggressive
Instead of openly expressing their anger or dissatisfaction, the passive person often uses indirect ways to show their resentment. This includes, but is not limited to, playing the victim, making sarcastic comments, and backstabbing. Because this behavior sometimes works to make others believe they are at fault, the passive person continues to use these tactics. And the cycle of endlessly passive behavior continues.
If you’re a passive personality, I already know how you feel about this post. And you’re probably glad I do, since you weren’t going to tell me anyway.