The Nice Guy ™ is a self-designated or given title for men who are usually kind, respectful, and friendly — especially towards women. The Nice Guy is well-liked, and even loved in his social circles, but there is one thing that frustrates him to no end.
He can never get the women he wants.
The Nice Guy often suffers in silence from a sense of neglect and mistreatment. He wonders why he is constantly passed over by women for men that seem to be his complete opposite — men who make a habit of not caring about the needs and desires of the women they are involved with. He is more bothered by this than he lets on.
After some time the Nice Guy may begin to believe that it is women who are the problem, not him. Women just don’t know a good thing — a Nice Guy ™ — when they see it. If they did, they would opt to live happily ever after with him instead of repeatedly choosing men who only break their hearts. Women must like jerks, not nice guys.
But what the Nice Guy fails to realize is that it is not his niceness that causes him to fail with women. It’s many of his other qualities and behavior that are the reason why he finishes last, every time.
The Nice Guy is insecure
Confidence is an attractive quality to both genders. What Nice Guys often lack, and what their jerky counterparts tend to have in abundance is confidence and a strong sense of self-worth. Confident people need little reassurance, are positive, and can even boost the confidence of those around them. Thus, the choice between an insecure guy and a confident guy is an easy one.
The Nice Guy is passive
Passive nice guys go with the flow, are overly cooperative, and try not to be noticed in any large way. And they get exactly what they hope for — they aren’t noticed. Anything in excess, even niceness and cooperation, can be a bad thing. Women begin to think the Nice Guy has no personality of his own; he simply agrees with the people around him. He brings nothing new, so he doesn’t intrigue.
The Nice Guy doesn’t make a move
Related to the above-mentioned lack of self-confidence and passiveness, Nice Guys find it difficult to approach women they are interested in. They over-analyze or talk themselves out of it, thinking they will be rejected. By the time they muster up enough determination to tell a woman how they feel, she has already found someone else.
The Nice Guy is the friend
The Nice Guy will often befriend women, and have several female friends. These women turn to him for advice and enjoy his company; they see him as a great friend. But that is the problem — he is a good friend, only. Not boyfriend material. Not significant other potential. Women don’t want to ruin their friendship, and besides, they don’t see the Nice Guy that way and probably never will.
The Nice Guy has issues
Of course the Nice Guy is nice. But what else is he? He may be immature, lazy, and have really bad breath. And that is not helping him. Niceness will not erase undesirable traits and behavior. No matter how undeniably nice the Nice Guy is.
Most importantly, the Nice Guy doesn’t realize that he can be both nice and assertive, humble and confident. Once he figures this out, the Nice Guy will never have to worry about being just the Nice Guy ™ again.
Disclaimer: Every Nice Guy will not show these qualities — or a lack of success with women — and not all men who have these qualities are Nice Guys.