The Friend Zone describes a relationship dynamic in which one person hopes for a friendship to grow into a romantic relationship. The other person, however, has a different idea — they see the other person as just a close friend, or worse, a brother or sister.
Who is Friend-Zoned?
The typical candidate for the Friend Zone is unassuming and generally good-natured. Instead of rushing into a relationship with someone they are attracted to they decide to get to know the person. They spend time with the other person, enjoying “friendly” activities such as playing video games, chatting in spare time, and watching TV. As a result they begin to know the other person well and become a close confidante.
Friend-Zoners are often men, but it’s not rare for a woman to be friend-zoned. Male Friend-Zoners can often be described by themselves and others as Nice Guys. Another common Friend-Zoner is the Shy Guy, whose hesitance to first approach, and later move a relationship from platonic to romantic proves to be his downfall.
Why the Friend Zone?
There are several reasons why a person can find themselves in the Friend Zone. These include, but are not limited to, one or more of the following:
- Too much time as friends — This may seem obvious, but a common way to be friend-zoned is to be friends for too long. After a certain point, one person may begin to see the other as simply a good friend.
- Unclear signals — Sometimes the person with romantic interest is unsure of how to display their interest, or if they should show their interest at all. Other times they send mixed signals or the other person doesn’t know how to interpret their signals. The inevitable result is the Friend Zone.
- Lack of attraction — Occurs when one person is not romantically attracted to the other person, but enjoys their friendship. The result is that they unknowingly friend zone the person who is attracted to them.
- A really good friendship — At times the other person does have a spark of interest for the current friend-zoner. However, they value their friendship so much that they don’t want to ruin it by pursuing a romantic relationship.
Signs of the Friend Zone
Wonder if you’re in the Friend Zone or have been friend-zoned in the past? Here are some signs of the Friend Zone that you might want to look out for.
- They discuss other people they are interested in. With you.
- They remark that you’re just like a “brother” or “sister” to them.
- They suggest your activities together include other people.
- They are too comfortable around you; they do things with you that they don’t do in the company of other people.
Getting Out of the Friend Zone
Once you’re in the Friend Zone, it is difficult to escape. The best way to not be in the Friend Zone is to avoid entering it in the first place. And the second best way is to give up. Some battles are not worth fighting.
But in the case you still would like to move from friend to romantic partner, you must make your interest clear and make yourself desirable. Flirt (harder), dress up on occasion, or show them a side of you they haven’t seen before. You can even tell them of your interest. Just don’t continue to do what you’ve always done; that has proven to be the door to the Friend Zone.
Have you ever been in the Friend Zone? Have you ever friend-zoned someone else? Share your experiences.