Whoever said friends were forever?
Throughout the years I’ve gained many friends, and lost just as many. In some cases it was clear that the friendship was over. However, in most situations, the friendship seemed capable of being saved or worth saving. It seemed like these friendships were just going through a rough time and would get better with time and effort. Ultimately though, these friendships declined, as they were destined to.
These experiences weren’t all negative — one positive aspect is that they allowed me to understand the signs of a dead friendship. When many of these occur, I know it’s time to end the friendship:
1. The friendship is depressing
Friendship isn’t all about having a good time. True friends will stick around through the good and bad, and friends show their worth in life’s unhappiest situations. But if a friend is constantly pulling down instead of uplifting; if I feel worse rather than better after interacting with a certain friend, then it is a sign to let the friendship go.
2. The friend is gossipy
Most people are not fond of gossips, but when the gossip is your friend, what do you do? Some people will remain friends with a person who is known to be a gossip, safe in the idea that the friend would never gossip about them. This is an error: a person who is gossipy will tend to be so about everyone. You shouldn’t wait until the friend gossips about you to turn them loose.
3. The friendship is competitive
Unless you’re in high school it’s time to let go of your competitive friend. A friend who competes and shows envy instead of joy at your achievements is simply not worth it. Why stay in a friendship where you can’t share your greatest moments? A friendship is about reciprocation, not competition.
4. The friend plays the blame game
As with all relationships, friendships are a mutual undertaking and both sides are equally responsible for it. Yet some will blame their friend when things go wrong in the friendship, or outside of the friendship. Instead of realizing that this is a toxic relationship, their friends will take the blame and burden the responsibility. It is much less emotionally draining to simply end the friendship.
5. The friend is really a frenemy
Get rid of any friend whose actions your unsure of or who puts you down. If you’re not sure whether your friend is a friend or an enemy, don’t worry about figuring it out. Just end the friendship.
6. The friendship is one-sided
Most friendships are not a perfect 50/50 give and take all the time. At times your friend will need you more, at other times you will require their help. But a friendship should not be one-sided in emotional or physical giving and help. Otherwise it’s not a friendship — one-sidedness is one of the most obvious signs of a dead or dying friendship.
Do you know when to end a friendship? What are some of your friendship deal-breakers?