Open Question: Is Revenge Ever Justified?

female-revenge

Revenge is one of those subjects that few people admit to thinking about and even fewer people admit to ever doing. Society encourages people to “take the high road” when harm is inflicted upon them by another person or people — seeking revenge is seen as childish at best, and criminal, at worst. But is there any reason a person should seek revenge, or any instance when revenge is necessary?

I believe that revenge is never truly necessary but sometimes is understandable. It is only human to want to protect oneself from harm and to use any means that is necessary to do that. Including inflicting harm upon someone who has hurt you or will hurt you. It is not essential that a person do this, but to react in vengeful ways is natural and therefore not anything to hide.

What do you think of revenge? Have you ever taken revenge and do you think it was justified? Are there any cases in life when taking revenge is warranted?

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11 thoughts on “Open Question: Is Revenge Ever Justified?

  1. I definitely understand the impulse being the hot-tempered woman that I am. I have even tried to get revenge on an occasion. But ultimately I learned that there are few situations where exacting revenge on someone else does not impact me in a negative manner as well.

  2. Sherry,

    You’re hot-tempered? I never would have guessed.

    “I learned that there are few situations where exacting revenge on someone else does not impact me in a negative manner as well.”

    People do say that revenge hurts the avenger more than anyone else. But is that really true? How are they hurt? Most of them seem fine to me. 🙂

  3. A few years ago, I was the new person on a job, pretty high up. Anyway, this woman would give me the BLUES, and I’d be like ??? Apparently, I was where SHE thought she should be and she made it known that she and I were never going to be friends, and would bad-mouth my clothes, hair, life, to other co-workers. She would speak when higher ups were around, as to give airs like she was a no-drama employee. Well, her husband came up to the job one day and started coming up more and more often. Later, after a facebook friend request, I learned that it was to see me. Now when I take lunch breaks in her bed with his face in between my legs, I smile AND speak to her stupid butt at work.

  4. I do think revenge hurts the avenger. At least it works that way for me. When I’m hurt by someone’s actions or I think the action was unfair, the first 5-10 minutes I’m all in the revenge mode and I get a huge satisfaction of thinking about it.

    But then it just… Out of nowhere, it stops being good and it becomes ugly. I feel ugly, ugh, it’s such a bad, unhealthy and exhausting feeling. Doesn’t feel good at all. So I try my best not to think about it.

    It has happened to me that the revenge comes on its own. It usually doesn’t bring me any emotional satisfaction.

    I’m not trying to present myself as “better” or super-nice. I do find these feelings to be exhausting.

  5. Hi Missy, welcome.

    @ your story:

    :O

    Oh my…

    I’m speechless. I don’t think I’d ever take revenge that far. Gossipy/mean coworkers and people are just a regular irritation of life; I don’t consider them to be anything extraordinary. I’d rather confront her about her behavior. Unless she’s just really that bad.

  6. Mira,

    “When I’m hurt by someone’s actions or I think the action was unfair, the first 5-10 minutes I’m all in the revenge mode and I get a huge satisfaction of thinking about it.

    But then it just… Out of nowhere, it stops being good and it becomes ugly.”

    I think that’s a pretty common reaction. I don’t know if part of it is caused by knowing how it feels to be hurt: since you were hurt by the person, you know the feeling. So even though you feel furious, you don’t feel that great when you realize that they are feeling the same pain you did/do.

    “It has happened to me that the revenge comes on its own.”

    Yay for karma.

    “It usually doesn’t bring me any emotional satisfaction.”

    Well, aren’t you just the weird one?

    …Just kidding. 😉

  7. @Missy

    I think your story serves as a lesson, that women should never put down other women to men (especially one you’re interested in), because it sends the message (true or not) that you believe the other woman is better than you in some way.

    I have had several men come on to me once they knew some bitchy woman they were dating, or just acquainted with, disliked me. It’s the strangest thing. They never said that the women bad mouthed me to them, but the negative feelings these women had about me (in all cases) were common knowledge. That cannot be just a coincidence.

  8. “It has happened to me that the revenge comes on its own. It usually doesn’t bring me any emotional satisfaction.

    I’m not trying to present myself as “better” or super-nice. I do find these feelings to be exhausting.”
    ~Mira

    I think being angry with people is a waste of energy, I simply cut such people off — both emotionally and, if possible, physically. BUT when something bad does happen to these folks, as long as it’s not fatal, I laugh and laugh and laugh.

  9. ^Andrea — Good answer (last part). 😀

    “I think being angry with people is a waste of energy, I simply cut such people off — both emotionally and, if possible, physically.”

    This can be difficult especially if it’s an ongoing situation.

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