The Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™

hot-man-legsDo you tend to lose your focus in the presence of a hot guy?

Find yourself doing things you normally wouldn’t, just to get close to a beautiful man?

Trip, fall, or otherwise embarrass yourself when exposed to a handsome male member of the human species?

You may have the Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™ (HGAH).

The Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™, is an inexplicable susceptibility to attractive men, causing sudden physical and mental impairment. Able to keep their composure and focus under normal circumstances, those afflicted with HGAH are thrown off balance when confronted with a good-looking guy. This is no joke — the Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™ is a serious burden for women (and select men) who happen to be burdened with it.

Those afflicted with HGAH tend to suffer in silence — they are afraid to make their weakness known lest they be condemned as superficial, odd, or even objectifying. It is only when with others similarly afflicted with HGAH that they feel comfortable to allow their extreme keenness to good-looking men to show.

However, despite all of their attempts to hide it, watchful people are aware that the sufferer has a strong weakness for attractive guys. In addition to their physical impairments and strange behavior while in the presence of good-looking men, HGAH sufferers are prone to regularly publicly announcing which men they consider to be attractive. HGAH sufferers may show noticeable boredom or even wistfulness when they have gone for a time without seeing any men who spark their fancy.

Contrary to what you may think, the true sign of a HGAH sufferer is not a strong attraction to the male sex. The Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™ is much more than an attraction to gorgeous men, it is an undue weakness to men, often leading to embarrassing and difficult situations. The HGAH afflicted feel helpless to change what can be a real problem.

If you have the Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™, you’re probably aware of it. But on the off-chance that you haven’t yet realized your vulnerability to attractive men, there are several signs to watch for. These include, but are not limited to:

  • A sense of awe, amazement, and strong attraction in the presence of attractive men
  • A flirtatious manner, dazed entrancement or nervous apprehension when exposed to good-looking guys
  • (Day)dreaming of an attractive guy  you’ve seen only a few times, or even once

    noah-mills

    Noah Mills -- tormenting HGAH sufferers worldwide

  • Tripping, falling, bumping or otherwise injuring yourself when shown a hot guy
  • A feeling of strong delight and gratitude at capturing the romantic interest of a man you consider attractive
  • A favorite pastime of gazing at pictures and videos of men you consider gorgeous
  • Fatigue and sadness when deprived of hot men
  • Staring, straining your neck, or zombie-like following of gorgeous guys
  • In severe cases, an inability to commit or focus on one man, being distracted by other hot guys around

If you happen to have the Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™, there isn’t much to do but accept your fate. As of yet no cure has been found, and attempts to deny its presence have been futile and occasionally disastrous. However, in some cases, symptoms of the Hot Guy Achilles Heel have been treated by the sufferer entering into a long-term relationship with a hot guy, a guy they consider to be hotter than any other.

Do you suffer from the Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™? If so, what sort of men are you affected by?

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16 thoughts on “The Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™

  1. lol, Alee, this is amazing.

    And it might surprise you, but I’m actually not a sufferer. I know I talk a lot about men here (heck, let’s call it the way it is – I objectify them), but that’s all just barking and not biting.

    In reality, I don’t notice handsome people; I rarely notice people at all. I am socially awkward so I always behave strangely in public: I’m one of those people who just want to get away from those they don’t know well.

    I notice handsome celebrities, but I don’t really notice handsome men in public, except on very rare occasions.

    But I do notice handsome men on TV/movies/etc.

    I also have a very specific “type”, though I’m not sure if I can really define it. Yes, I do notice hair first, and yes, I like dark eyes, but it’s not really just about that. It’s usually something I can’t explain: I am either attracted to a guy or I’m not. This goes for real life situations, too. If I’m not attracted to a guy I’ll probably never will be. But the opposite isn’t true: a hot guy can quickly become ugly if it turns out to be he’s a major jerk.

  2. Mira,

    “lol, Alee, this is amazing.”

    Lol, thanks. 🙂

    “And it might surprise you, but I’m actually not a sufferer.”

    I’m not surprised. I figured you weren’t because you don’t respond to every day guys, just celebrities. And when shown a ridiculously hot guy, you don’t show the amazement and shock that those with the Hot Guy Achilles Heel would.

    “In reality, I don’t notice handsome people; I rarely notice people at all.”

    Shocking! Seriously. I look forward to the day I’ll not notice a handsome male person. I don’t think that day will ever come.

    “If I’m not attracted to a guy I’ll probably never will be. But the opposite isn’t true: a hot guy can quickly become ugly if it turns out to be he’s a major jerk.”

    Yes a million times to that last portion.

    In fact, meanness or jerkiness completely ruins the Hot Guy Effect. I know this man who is extremely handsome; you’d probably think so too, even though he has hazel eyes and is on the pale-ish side — he is tall with black, thick, curly hair and thick black eyebrows with great bone structure. But he’s just so mean, uptight, and cranky that I can’t stand him and his good looks do nothing for me.

  3. I am definitely a sufferer of this and its only gotten worse in recent years. Frankly it scares me because I could see myself 20 years from now going after much younger men. Thinking by that time that my future husband could be bloated, balding AND have trouble getting it up is just too much to bare. Hope SG will still be a stud when he gets older. His father isnt bad at all so im hoping he will age just the same.

    I have all those symptoms up there with the exception of the last one. I am not distracted by other hot men when Ive got one as long as I got one I consider really hot that is. Thats why “his looks will grown on you” dont really work for me in the long run cause when ive dated guys I thought were just okay, I felt like I was missing out on someone hotter. The worst of these symptoms is fatigue and sadness when missing out on hot men 😦 Those dry spells are seriously depressing.

    Alee, did you have to use that pic of Noah. I need to get out of here and meet up with my friend Toni to go eat but now im tempted to watch Noah Mills tribute videos and interviews. Did you see when he was on the Bonnie Hunt show?

  4. Hi Jess 😀

    “I am definitely a sufferer of this and its only gotten worse in recent years.”

    Same. It’s pretty sad.

    “Frankly it scares me because I could see myself 20 years from now going after much younger men.”

    Me too. Scary, scary. I mean, I could like some guys my age then. But I’d also probably like younger guys.

    “Thats why “his looks will grown on you” dont really work for me in the long run cause when ive dated guys I thought were just okay, I felt like I was missing out on someone hotter.”

    Yes. I tried dating guys I didn’t really find so attractive a couple of times… one time it worked semi-well but his looks never did grow on me and I always thought other guys were hotter.

    “The worst of these symptoms is fatigue and sadness when missing out on hot men 😦 Those dry spells are seriously depressing.”

    I give myself a pick-me-up those days with pictures, videos, and movies of hot guys.

    “Alee, did you have to use that pic of Noah”

    Yes, for you in particular. 🙂

    Well, I could have picked another drop-dead gorgeous guy but Noah just has that model pizzazz.

    “Did you see when he was on the Bonnie Hunt show?”

    Just went to watch it…

    Awwww, beautiful, and I love his personality; he seems very human, even self-conscious, and not full of himself. What a dream Noah is. You should definitely watch some videos because I will!

  5. lol, I hate to admit this but I am a sufferer, I try soooo hard better yet too hard that sometimes it shows. But recently, I avoid places or any interaction with a handsome guy/s because I don’t know how to behave, and I hate that I become transparent……

    Many times I talk myself out of it because honestly, I don’t see myself dating a too handsome guy because its a lot of work to keep him and/or someone else will try to take him away from me…..

    But what works for me now is that I ignore men in general, I’ve been rejected too many times and I just befriend them instead and stay cool and eventually all those feelings that I have/had will vanish…..

  6. Hey Mkhululi,

    “I hate to admit this but I am a sufferer”

    Don’t worry, you’re safe here. 🙂

    “I avoid places or any interaction with a handsome guy/s because I don’t know how to behave, and I hate that I become transparent…”

    Avoidance only works for so long… after a while you’ll feel deprived and when you finally see a hot man you’ll physical and mental impairment will be worse than usual.

    “I don’t see myself dating a too handsome guy because its a lot of work to keep him and/or someone else will try to take him away from me…”

    Huh, no. The only way an HGAH sufferer can be truly happy in dating is if they date good-looking guys. Attempting to date men who don’t set off the Achilles Heel will only lead to that boredom and wistful of an HGAHer deprived of hot men. Not all hot men are self-absorbed players; I have confidence you can find one who is both hot and committed.

    “I’ve been rejected too many times and I just befriend them instead and stay cool and eventually all those feelings that I have/had will vanish…”

    If you truly have the Hot Guy Achilles’ Heel, those feelings did not vanish, they just went dormant, waiting to be triggered once again…

  7. Nkosazana,

    “Seems like an excuse to me for women to act the fool.”

    You think that because you’re on the outside looking in. If you were afflicted with HGAH you’d know that it is no excuse and it is not done on purpose. It’s just a visceral reaction to hot men that is exceedingly difficult to control.

  8. Alee, Not all hot men are self-absorbed players; I have confidence you can find one who is both hot and committed.

    This is true. Plus ive seen no evidence that average looking guys are any less of players than the obvious hotties even though many people believe that. I wonder though if people who think hot= player and average= “nice guy” stopped and thought about it and seen enough evidence to support that theory.

  9. Jess,

    “ive seen no evidence that average looking guys are any less of players than the obvious hotties even though many people believe that.”

    True, true. To think this is very consoling to those afflicted with the The Hot Guy Achilles Heel ™ since they are attracted to hot men above others, regardless. 🙂

    But I guess an average man doesn’t have as much opportunity to be a player as a hot guy would.

  10. I probably do because well, I don’t see that many TRULY hot men…i saw one a couple of weeks ago after awhile and acted such a fool I surprised myself. I am actually very shy around guys I find cute and want to date…I almost act like i’m invisible around them, it’s weird…

  11. df,

    If there are few hot men around you, then test yourself with hot male celebrities. Do you exhibit any of these symptoms?… If you need help finding celebrity men, I have plenty. 🙂

  12. I don’t think I suffer from this phenomena at all, with one exception, when I was a teenager working at an ice-cream shop.
    This Adonis in the flesh walked in with a female friend of his and I swear the entire shop faded for me. His beauty was astounding. Almost unearthly. His eyes were a mesmerising hypnotic green colour. I stared like a complete imbecile at him for a long time. All of a suddden these fingers are snapped in front of my face. Apparently, his female friend was giving me their order and I, in my daze, didn’t hear a word she said. She had to resort to rudely snapping her fingers at me t get my attention. He was smiling kindly, his eyes never off mine. I was so flustered I screwed up the order and re-did it again.
    After they left, I found out that I wasn’t the only stunned by him. My co-workers, male and female, also froze in their tasks, to gawp at him. Made me feel better.
    Otherwise, I can appreciate gorgeous men but I need something else to really attract me to a man. I’d much rather take a charismatic, confident Kevin James over a empty David Beckham.

  13. Sophia,

    “This Adonis in the flesh walked in with a female friend of his and I swear the entire shop faded for me.”

    LOL.

    So you had a short experience with what HGAH sufferers go through every day… I’ve stumbled over so many chairs, knocked down books, bumped into walls, poles, etc. because of looking at a guy. I’m already kinesthetically challenged, so it just makes it even worse.

    “After they left, I found out that I wasn’t the only stunned by him. My co-workers, male and female, also froze in their tasks, to gawp at him. Made me feel better.”

    Wow, he was so hot even the men were looking? He must’ve been a beauty. I missed him…I’m a little jealous! 😛

    “I’d much rather take a charismatic, confident Kevin James over a empty David Beckham.”

    Neither of them do anything for me, just fyi. I can see David Beckham is handsome, but it still doesn’t strike my HGAH in any way.

  14. In my experiences, the more aesthetically challenged the man is the more issues he tends to have. Some of these guys that arent use to getting pretty girls become very insecure and jealous in the relationship once they get one and we know when insecurity reaches a certain level, they can act out in some crazy ways. Ive seen that happen ALOT.

    I think the media likes to promote this either or thing cause you see so many movies where a guy or girl has to choose between the hottie or the average one and the hottie is always the shallow brainless one and the average one of course is basically a perfect person in every way except looks but in reality, I see just as many less attractive men that are shallow with severe personality flaws.

    It is true that sometimes people that are exceptionally attractive dont develop a personality or any real positive traits because they skated by just on their looks and never had to cause I have seen a few cases like that but for the most part, exceptionally handsome men dont have any less of a personality than average men. Some of the nicest and funniest guys ive ever met are out of this world handsome.

    @Alee, LOL Sophia’s story also made me think ” I wish I couldve seen him”.

  15. Jess,

    “In my experiences, the more aesthetically challenged the man is the more issues he tends to have.”

    Lol. That’s so… wrong of you. So not only are they not hot, they have issues as well? Man, they can’t catch a break…

    Very true about the either/or hot, looks or personality thing. As if reality is anything like that. Most people have average personalities anyway.

    “It is true that sometimes people that are exceptionally attractive dont develop a personality or any real positive traits because they skated by just on their looks”

    Beautiful Wo/man Syndrome is much more common with women, I think. While people do pay more attention to a good-looking guy, looks are tremendously more important in the life experiences of women. A hot guy would still have to prove he’s more than just a “pretty boy”, while a woman really doesn’t.

    It is sexist in a way because people aren’t as interested in women having personalities, accomplishments, and intelligence as much as they are interested in these with men. As long as the woman is “hot”, she’s at least okay, if not better. Sometimes I find it downright appalling and invasive how much emphasis people place on the looks of women (ironic on this thread, I know, but you all get my point).

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