The Friend Zone

friend-zone

Friend-Zoned? Probably.

The Friend Zone describes a relationship dynamic in which one person hopes for a friendship to grow into a romantic relationship. The other person, however, has a different idea — they see the other person as just a close friend, or worse, a brother or sister.

Who is Friend-Zoned?

The typical candidate for the Friend Zone is unassuming and generally good-natured. Instead of rushing into a relationship with someone they are attracted to they decide to get to know the person. They spend time with the other person, enjoying “friendly” activities such as playing video games, chatting in spare time, and watching TV. As a result they begin to know the other person well and become a close confidante.

Friend-Zoners are often men, but it’s not rare for a woman to be friend-zoned. Male Friend-Zoners can often be described by themselves and others as Nice Guys. Another common Friend-Zoner is the Shy Guy, whose hesitance to first approach, and later move a relationship from platonic to romantic proves to be his downfall.

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For the Love of Shy Men

cute-shy-manIn 1995 Diana King sang,

“I don’t want no fly guy, I just want a shy guy…He’s the kinda guy who’ll only be mine.”

And she isn’t alone — I also love shy men. There is just something irresistible about a guy who is reserved and cautious, in the midst of all the empty bravado shown by so many other men. But like other great things in life, shy men are underrated, by themselves and others. They may be harder to know and understand, but once you’re familiar with them, the extra effort becomes truly worthwhile.

There are several reasons why a shy guy is a great pick among men. Here are a few of the reasons why I love shy men, and you should too:

He is a hidden treasure

Since the shy guy puts less of himself and his interests out there for the world to see, there is more to explore and find out later on. You may know a shy guy for some time before you find out about his lifelong passion for East African sculpture or his dream to become a professional race car driver. And the best part is that you’re one of the few who knows about his true interests.

He is trustworthy

Shy men can be trusted to keep your private information. They don’t tell much about themselves, so why would they talk about others? Shy guys are also more trustworthy in another way, which might be more important — they are less likely to cheat romantically. Why? Because it’s hard enough for them to approach women: if they already have one, it’s only more work to find another.

He is sincere

Like geeky guys, shy men are open about their true feelings — once you get to know them. There is less of the pretense and boasting found with outgoing men; shy men are less likely to put up a persona or use tactics to get and keep your interest.

He understands

Since they weren’t born with the natural ability to relate to others, the shy man tends to spend much time trying to understand people and how to interact with them. As a result he understands people in a deeper way. He can comprehend your feelings and thoughts, even when you don’t.

He is the perfect companion

Whether you’re outgoing and gregarious, or shy and low-key like him, the shy guy is a wonderful complement. He will listen when you have something to say, and sit with you in silence when you want to get away from it all. What more could you ask for?

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