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I enjoyed your post on the passive aggressive frustrations and the good guy, and recently dealt with this myself from someone I could never get to “communicate” anything, and yet he kept coming around even after I would go off on him.
No matter how irked I got, or how many mean things I said to this guy he would come back for more, And for the first time in my life I felt more like a MAN does than a female does with this “Friend” in the sense that for the first time I was behaving and feeling rather more domineering than I actually wanted to ever feel – out of just pure frustration with him.
Well, I had read recently that they actually like that from women, Because they can’t seem to do it for themselves ” Show any aggression.” But yes, eventually you end up feeling like God give me some action and some personality this is getting quite boring and lonely.
You get tired of being tired and tired of feeling “Frustrated” by knowing they are not really telling you “something”, and you playing guessing games about what that could be? I may be very “intuitive” by nature, But that doesn’t mean I enjoy wracking my brains out or enjoy one sided conversations, or enjoy not knowing exactly where I stand.
Now, I was also on the other side of the fence at one time in my life ( yet in another way ) The quiet one, and a doormat to aggressive and not very nice persons, But to the other extreme.. The screwed up aggressive types, the drinking and gambling types, they were very toxic and not healthy, and I was getting more and more “unhealthy” the more I was agreeable and people pleasing towards them. It gets learned somewhere along the line.. and especially if your a female I think, as aggressiveness is seen as something to be only if your a man.
I am happy to say now days I would have no issue to tell those types exactly where to stick it and walk away with NO feelings of having done a damn thing wrong.
Many factors play into these things, and I think many passives have somewhere in them the ability to “not be so passive”.. But they have to do that for themselves, nobody can do it for them, and the reasons need to be dealt with head on.
All you can do with a passive person in the end is let them know your on to them, your on to the “game” that it’s not as innocent as they let on, and that it is now their issue to deal with.
You can decide to place that responsibility on them where it belongs.