Doxing is a word that many may not have heard of, but may be familiar with, either as the perpetrator or as the victim. Doxing refers to the online practice of researching and publicizing personal information about a person with the intent to harm. Doxing could be simply revealing the real name of someone who blogs under a pseudonym or giving out a person’s phone number in a public forum. Since the popularity of social media, blogs, and other public groups, doxing has become more common. However, revealing personally identifying information online about a person can bring legal trouble.

In our world where information is available so quickly online, it can be easy to cross the line or even grasp that there is a line. After all, what is the problem with letting others know something that could easily be found in a Google search? The issue is the intent of the information. In the U.S., it is illegal to make public information with the intent to intimidate, harass, or harm another person. Regardless of how or where you found this information.

I have experienced doxing firsthand, as a particularly manipulative and angry individual stalked and harassed me online for months a few years ago. Under the guise of helping out another person, who she claimed I was bothering online, she proceeded to track my online whereabouts, search for personal information that would be damaging, and threaten to reveal or in a few cases actually divulge personal information; true and untrue. In her rage, she allowed her instinct to stand up for one person justify the cutting down of another. That is if protecting was her true reason for doxing at all because at its essence doxing is about going to great lengths to harm to another, not about helping others. Intuitively I knew that what she was doing was wrong on the basic level of human rights, but not understanding the laws against this at the time, I took no action against her. That will not happen again.

Whether you’re a public figure, a blogger, or just the average internet user, doxing is always wrong and illegal. If you find yourself the victim of doxing, the best way to combat it is to seek legal advice. Or, if at some point in time the idea crosses your mind to find personal information about a person to coerce, humiliate or shame them online, think again. It may create more problems for you than it solves.

Why I Like Hillary Clinton


Hillary Clinton 2016? Yes, please.

To some people, the name Hillary Clinton brings to mind images of an uptight, sarcastic, diabolic tyrant who will stop at nothing to get what she wants. On the other hand, to me Hillary Clinton is an admirable, respectable politician who embodies many of the qualities of an ideal leader.

Some of these qualities are the same qualities which have turned Hillary into the type of villain usually left for dictators and greedy CEOs. However, these traits leave no question in my mind that Hillary is suited for large-scale leadership in a difficult time and as I backed Hillary Clinton for United States president in 2008, I will do so again in 2016.

  1. She is passionate

Critics call Hillary Clinton power-hungry and single-minded. I won’t disagree; I’m certain Hillary wants to be successful and a well-known leader, and is dedicated to this mission. However, I don’t hold it against her and even consider her tenacity to be valuable in a future leader. We need someone who believes strongly in their goals and is willing to see them through, no matter what.

     2. She is willing to face opposition

Hillary Clinton is arguably the most disliked and controversial politicians of the past decade, outside of the presidents. There are countless campaigns, articles, groups, and websites against Hillary. When she lost the 2008 presidential primary to our current president, Barack Obama, people all over the country breathed a collective sigh of relief, “Thank goodness.”

Much of the opposition to Hillary’s candidacy seems to stem from the simple fact that she
is a woman. In fact, in a Gallup survey conducted earlier this year the second most hillary-president-2016common reason given by American opposed to Hillary Clinton as U.S. president was that they don’t want a female president. For a woman vying for the presidency, that’s disheartening, to say the least.

Yet Hillary bravely faces this daily opposition and remains committed to her ideals. She’s put herself in the spotlight to be criticized yet again because her goals are so important to her. This is to be respected, if not admired.

    3. She has progressive ideals

Hillary Clinton’s liberal political ideology more closely aligns with mine than the majority of candidates. She has championed ideals I consider important, such as women’s rights, educational reform, and health care.

   4. She is intelligent

Whether or not you agree with Hillary’s tactics, you can’t deny that Hillary is an intelligent woman who has carved out a unique place for herself in American history. Accomplished lawyer, senator, first lady, and the first woman with a serious bid for the American presidency. A person does not happen on these positions by accident — it takes intelligence and foresight.

  5.  She is authentic

She’s nakedly ambitious. She’s secretive. She’s cunning. So what? She’s a politician. I would prefer a leader who is honest about what they care about, what they don’t care about, and what bothers them than a politician who vacillates to remain in the good graces of everyone. On the way to accomplishing anything noteworthy, a person may alienate some. Hillary expects that and accepts that, and won’t change strategy to appease those who disagree.

Now, do I agree with all of Hillary Clinton’s past decisions and views? No. Do I think that she is the only candidate worthy of the presidency? No. However, I do like her as a person, and consider her a worthy of the Oval Office.

5 Signs You’re Dating a Jerk


Dating a jerk? How to know?

It may seem obvious when a guy you’re dating might be a jerk — a rude, selfish boor lacking in even the most basic of manners. However, some jerks are much more subtle, and only reveal their true selves when alone with you or in certain contexts.  It can be difficult to tell if you’re dealing with someone who is angry, honest, or just a garden variety jerk.

That said, the jerk has a few tell-tales signs which are evident in much of his behavior. Over the years of dealing with a variety of jerks, I’ve found that these signs are common to all, and are dead giveaways that you are dealing with a jerky guy:

1. He is always right

Jerks, who usually have an unrealistically positive view of themselves, tend to think they are always right as a result. Or at least mostly right. And always when it counts.

I know, I know — no one is always right. The jerk was never let in on this secret, it seems. Or he disagreed with the person who said it, and since he is always right, well, we’re back to where we started.

2. He criticizes…often

Relationships are about learning and growing but the jerk doesn’t realize that this is a gradual process and a two-way street. He will give “kind” hints that something is not to his liking, and mention it often until it the situation is altered to suit his desires. His criticism is general, extending to people, places, and things alike, and never-ending.

3. He is rude to others

PSA to all women: Any man who is rude to others, regardless of how he treats you, is a jerk. There is no use in denying it or protecting him, because his true jerkish tendencies will be directed toward you, sooner or later. If not, his jerk behavior will make your relationships with others a constant battle.

4.  He ignores your opinion

Ever get the feeling that you’re talking to the air? Are conversations a contest to see who can best the other’s statements? Does your guy ask for your opinion and then do whatever he wants anyway?

You may be dealing with a jerk.

5. He dictates

Confidence is a great trait to have. Don’t confuse a confident guy with a jerk: a confident man is assured of his abilities and does not need to control others. The jerk, on the other hand, is less confident and builds a false sense of security on overtly or covertly bending others to his will. Beware.

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Hypocrisy, Sexism, Racism…Kanye, Did I Miss Anything?


Amber Rose, Kanye West

If you keep up with celebrity news, to any extent, by now you’ve heard of the back and forth interview-Twitter wars between socialite Amber Rose, her former boyfriend and my former favorite rapper Kanye West, and the Kardashian family. Tensions have always run high between Amber Rose and the Kardashians as Amber’s relationship with Kanye West ended in part due to Kanye’s involvement with the eldest sibling, Kim Kardashian.

Most recently the situation came to a boiling point when, in a mid-February interview with NY radio station Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club, Amber Rose made some comments about a few family members when probed by interviewers. Khloe Kardashian took to Twitter in response, asking Amber Rose to stop talking about her family in interviews, but not before mentioning Amber Rose’s past as a stripper, adding, “don’t worry about my sister who has a career.”

However, the most interesting and headlining portion of this tit-for-tat was Kanye West’s response. He appeared on the same radio show several days later, with a few choice words about Amber.


Kanye calls out Amber Rose on her alleged promiscuity, saying that because of his relationship with Amber he had to take “30 showers” before being with Kim.

The first thing that comes to mind when one hears such a statement is simply “?”

Hypocrisy is when you attempt to slut-shame a woman for her sexual activities when your wife’s wouldn’t be known to you or the world if she had not taped her sexual activities with a random famous man and been in relationships with countless others. Since, apparently, his wife is free to have been with a million men in her past, he can not make it a crime for another woman to have the same history.


Kanye says, “It’s hard for a woman to want to be with someone that’s with Amber Rose”.

Sexism is pinning a woman’s value on how many sexual partners she has had. Has anyone asked Kanye West how many women (and/or men) he has been with? Does anyone care?

Probably not.

His sexual past is irrelevant, as is hers.


We can not forget the difference in response when black (or black-identified) women display their sexuality versus non-black women.

Kanye, a serious as can be, considers Amber simply dirty for her sexual past. Why is her past such an issue, yet he pursued a woman with a similar background, making her his wife and the mother of his child? What is the difference?

Oh right, their racial backgrounds. Because when black women are open about their sexuality, they are relegated to the pile of unworthiness, to have fun with but not take too seriously. When white women display their sexuality they are made into idols by some, worthy of imitation.

Anything Else?

Kanye sees no issues with making a spectacle of a woman he once loved. This is one of my pet peeves: ex-bashing. Why throw your former partner under the bus because the relationship ended or because you believe you’ve found someone “better”? Those who bash their exes show the world how untrustworthy they are: lover and friend one minute, crucifier the next. We can only hope that the statements he makes about Kim if their relationship ends will be much less demeaning.

Yes, this post is a little (purposely) late. And yes, who cares about what a few over-inflated celebrities spew about each other on Twitter and radio? Well, I do, when it is the perfect chance to illustrate the way sexism and racism are perpetuated in American society, while everyone has a good laugh.

To say I’m disgusted by this display would be an understatement.

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Dog Frustration


Cute, but frustrating


Since I last updated over a year ago, several things have changed. One major change is that I now have a dog, technically a 9 month old puppy. She is a Golden Retriever and one of the most lovable dogs in the world. Except to me.

I think I hate my puppy.

I know, I know: how can you hate a harmless, cute little puppy who loves you unconditionally?

Let me explain.

My puppy and I, let’s call her Mandy, have a tense relationship, which started from the day I got her in late July of 2014. She was the most adorable thing in the world and I was so excited to have my very own puppy. She squirmed and tried to run away as my boyfriend and I gave her her first bath, and shivered the whole ride home but I was so happy to have her.

Then we got home. Mandy peed on my kitchen floor, then pooped on it a few minutes later, a watery mix of diarrhea. I brought her outside immediately and waited for 30 minutes while she sniffed grass, looked around, and tried to eat bugs. Okay, so she didn’t need to use the bathroom, right? Except she did, and as soon as I brought her back in, she released another sticky brown puddle.

And this was the start of a long journey littered with brown piles: Mandy has big issues with potty training. Mainly, if she feels the urge, she will release her bowels anywhere (including indoors). Waiting until we get to the appropriate spot is not something she does. I have tried tons of training techniques and she does understand the association between outdoors and relieving herself. The problem is that she just doesn’t seem to care.

Now, if her only issue were with potty training then I may not be pushed to the brink of sanity the majority of the time I deal with her. However, I simply don’t like Mandy very much. It is not her fault, and she is a very friendly, playful dog, but I think our personalities are mismatched. In particular, a few things give me the most trouble: Continue reading

A Lofty Existence Returns

backYou knew I couldn’t stay away: beginning next week, A Lofty Existence will be regularly updated at least twice a month.

I can’t believe over a year has passed. So much has changed, both personally and in the intricate web that is the Internet. I’ve always meant to get back to blogging, but never had the time.

However, a few things have pushed me out into the blogosphere, again. Events that have compelled me to add my voice into the sea of many, events that I will address in future posts.

So, if anyone is still out there, I’m back! But even if no one is: I’ll continue to post my thoughts about events in the world, social issues, personal issues and anything else that comes to mind.


A Lofty Existence Closing…For Now


I have come to a decision: as much as I would like to, I will no longer be adding new posts to this blog on a regular basis. In other words, A Lofty Existence is closed. However, not completely. I will likely be adding new posts on an infrequent basis, so if you are a new reader or an old one and really enjoy the blog, you may want to keep your subscription or subscribe if you have not. The blog will stay up, complete with all posts and comments, and I will be approving new comments.

After three years of blogging on a regular basis, this was not an easy decision. I learned a lot in that time, and enjoyed sharing and interacting with commenters. I would like to say thanks to everyone who contributed to the blog, in one form or another. I truly do appreciate it and I’ll keep in touch!


Nope, Not Buying It Lululemon

lululemon-thighs-rhymeOkay, okay, Lululemon — you win! I will never even think of buying one piece of your overpriced clothing.

Athletic apparel brand Lululemon has, once again, turned off their consumer base by making insensitive, belittling comments about women’s bodies. Not too long ago the brand was forced to recall some of its yoga pants after customers complained that the pants became see-through when worn. In response, Lululemon founder Chip Wilson blamed women for the recall, claiming that “Quite frankly, some women’s bodies just actually don’t work” with the pants; it’s because of “rubbing through the thighs, how much pressure is there over time.” In other words, “Hey, you big-thighed/overweight/bottom-heavy women, please stop wearing our pants. You’re killing them! They’re meant for slim women.”

As if it couldn’t get worse, their latest “Huh?” commentary comes from their location in Bethesda, Maryland. For the holidays the store decided to play on Wilson’s comments about women’s thighs with a lovely poem in their front window: “Cups of Chai/Apple Pies/Rubbing Thighs” This, on top of comments by former employees that the company discriminates against bigger sizes and wants to be the go-to brand for the “fit” and stylish.”

Lulu is clearly suffering from an incurable case of foot (thigh?)-in-mouth syndrome. As anyone could have predicted, Chip Wilson took back his comments after a petition was lululemon-shares-fallcirculated, demanding that he apologize for his words, and the Maryland store promptly removed their window rhyme, adding that they were “deeply sorry”. But what are they really sorry about? Making hurtful, disparaging comments about women or the dollars that they see slipping from their hands? Moreover, the damage has been done and their shares continue to fall.

Now, some ask, what’s the big deal about their comments? Why should those who have extra weight or bigger bottoms wear stretchy, tight pants material? Why can’t a brand be particular about its customers?

This issue is bigger than the right of women with big thighs to wear trendy yoga pants. The issue is one of a culture which green-lights a negative, shaming attitude toward women and their bodies which don’t fit its idea of beautiful. When comments like this are made, all women are affected by the perpetuation of thinking which values (and devalues) women based solely on their outward appearance. Even the slimmest of women are made to wonder what flaws of theirs people are secretly laughing at, as they have another plain salad for lunch. Women who are attempting to work out and be healthy should be encouraged, not shamed.

So, nope, not buying it Lululemon. Not buying your numerous apologies after making hurtful, sexist comments about the women who made you into a multi-million dollar company. And definitely not buying your poor quality, $90+ Spandex.

A Lofty Existence is Three Years Old

third-birthday-cupcakeThis week the blog reached its third year in existence. A long time coming, for a tiny blog at the corner of the Internet.

Now that A Lofty Existence has reached true blog seniority, it is time to make a decision. Should the blog remain active and reach its fourth year and beyond, or has it served its purpose?

When I began this blog I had few plans as to how long it would remain open, I just knew that I wanted to write and have a place to share my thoughts, as well as connect with online acquaintances. And when I began this blog I was at a totally different point in my life than I am now. Currently, although I still love blogging, I don’t have much time to dedicate to writing posts. And as is obvious, a blog is nothing without its posts.

At the moment I’m weighing the pros and cons of two very different options — end my blogging by the beginning of the new year or make my new year’s resolution to stick to a strict schedule for posting and move my blog to a dedicated server. It will be a tough decision, but whichever option I choose, the blog will remain open.

As the new year is still several weeks away, I still have time to come to a decision, which I will post at that time. Right now, I’ll wish A Lofty Existence a Happy Birthday and all readers Happy Holidays!

Attractive Personality Traits in Men

man-intellectual-crownA previous post, Attractive Features in Men covered the physical features I find most attractive in men. But what about a man’s mental and emotional traits? Which personality characteristics increase a man’s appeal? Here is my personal list of the most attractive personality traits in men.

1. Intellectually Curious

Intellectual curiosity adds tremendously to a man’s attractiveness. The eagerness and willingness to learn new things and increase one’s knowledge makes a person that much more interesting. There is more to discuss, share, and do.

2. Open

Related to intellectual curiosity, a man who shows an openness of mind is receptive to new ways of being and is able to adapt and accommodate the unfamiliar or unknown. Such a trait makes it easier to deal with all the changes life brings.

3. Independent

While independence of body is great, independence of mind is most attractive. Independence of mind means being able to absorb and analyze information and come to decisions without needing the input of others. An independent man knows his own values, wants, and needs, and doesn’t mind if others may disagree with them.

4. Committed

It might seem obvious but being able to stay committed to what they start is a trait which distinguishes certain men from others. Too many become distracted, lose focus, or can’t muster the will to stick to see something all the way through. A man who can stay the course has wide appeal.

5. Quirky

Just a pinch of peculiar makes a person more exciting to be around. I enjoy a man who is a bit offbeat, one whose behavior and way of being isn’t quite expected. A man who is different from the crowd catches my eye and holds my interest.

6. Emotionally Intelligent

A man with emotional intelligence understands his own emotions and how they affect him and those around him. He is able to foster positive relationships and minimize conflict with others. It goes without saying that this is a very valuable trait to have in an intimate relationship.

7. Loving

A man who is truly loving has depth of feeling for those close to him and isn’t afraid to express these feelings from time to time, in the way he knows how. He considers it important to make sure that those significant in his life are reminded of his love for them. Whether that be through words or actions, a loving man is attractive to women and in general.

Which characteristics are on your list? What make a man attractive to you?

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