Life and Times of the Love Junkie

love-wanted

Are you addicted to love?

The love junkie is quite simply, hooked on love and romance. Whereas some people fall in love with individuals and the experience of being with them, love junkies are primarily in love with love. The love junkie’s life revolves around love, romance, and relationships and even when not in a relationship, relationships and love remain their priority and primary mental focus.

The truth is, the love junkie does not feel truly complete without love and romance, although they may not recognize this fact. Many believe that a full life can’t be lived without a partner. So the love junkie will often be found in a relationship, and will not end one unless they have no other option, or another potential partner is available. Which is a  significant point to note about the love junkie — what’s most important is that they have a partner, not so much anything specific about that person.

Love junkies differ from other romance addicts in one major way: they actually care about their partners. Although their mate can be seen in a way as a means to the end of obtaining love, the love junkie does love them and is usually  in love with them. But they could have just as easily been in love with someone else.

None of this is to say that love junkies are insincere or “bad” people. Not at all. Everyone has their motivation in life — what drives them and makes living worthwhile. The love junkie’s motivation just happens to be love and relationships. They can’t be faulted for that, although it’s important to be able to recognize a love junkie. Some of their more clear traits and behaviors include:

  • A tendency to gain strong feelings for anyone new they are involved with or the potential to be involved with. Oftentimes they will feel that they are in love, after a relatively short amount of time.
  • Idealizing their partner and ignoring the faults of partners (or potential partners).
  • Daydreaming about their partner when not together and considering time with their partner to be far and away the highlight of their day, if not their life.
  • A strong dislike for being without a relationship and a clear renewal of happiness when in a new relationship.
  • A love of romantic stories, movies, and songs which highlight the passionate feelings of love.
  • Tendency towards jealousy, though they try to hide it.
  • May enter into a relationship simply to be in one, even if the relationship does not satisfy their needs.
  • Willingness to suffer strongly or ignore their needs to keep a relationship.
  • Thinking and claiming that every partner they become involved with is “the one” or “perfect” for them.
  • When their love life isn’t going well, their life isn’t going well — their satisfaction with being depends on the state of their relationships

Love junkies will have many of these traits in varying degrees, though they may not have all. Having one or two of these tendencies doesn’t make you a love junkie but if you find yourself agreeing with many of the points, you might just be a love junkie. In fact, if you’re reading this, you probably are one or know one.

How many points do you check off? Are you a love junkie?

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13 thoughts on “Life and Times of the Love Junkie

  1. Hi all,

    I’m none of the above, I’ve been single for over 5 years now and I’m going strong…..(lol) I know it’s a long time but I have my reasons. ………

    I made a vow to myself to remain celibate, until further notice. On the other side I think that Love Junkies, (some of them)feel the need to be in a relationship to be whole and complete…sometimes it might not be a meaningful relationship but they have a need to have someone by their side…..I think some of them like the feeling of being needed or loved..

    I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than to waste my time with someone who I think is not worthy of my time and who treats me badly….

    Instead of focusing my time and energy, inviting someone in my life, I derive that energy onto other parts of my life and give that affection and love to my family and to charity……I know it’s not the same but it’s enough for now and I’m content…

    Just to clarify, I do feel lonely sometimes but that happens rarely. I sometimes feel that Love is an illusion(I might be wrong but that’s what I think) But then again there’s an exception and the rule……

  2. Back to the point, I have loads of friends that I think are love junkies and I sometimes, feed of their drama/romance and their stories…..Sometimes they inspire me, and they show me what I missing and what I’m NOT missing…..But I feel there’s not right or wrong, as long as one knows the repercussions to ones actions……

    Peace & Blkessings

  3. Hi mkhululie,

    “I’m none of the above, I’ve been single for over 5 years now and I’m going strong…..(lol) I know it’s a long time but I have my reasons. …”

    Oh really, do you? 🙂

    “I think that Love Junkies, (some of them)feel the need to be in a relationship to be whole and complete…sometimes it might not be a meaningful relationship but they have a need to have someone by their side…..I think some of them like the feeling of being needed or loved..”

    Exactly right. Well said.

    “Instead of focusing my time and energy, inviting someone in my life, I derive that energy onto other parts of my life and give that affection and love to my family and to charity…”

    That’s good. But it seems a little like you’re afraid of love? Am I completely off-base in thinking that?

  4. Alee , get a life…… lol 🙂

    Busted, It’s a long story…..but I’m not ready to have myself out there yet. Love(or being in love) can be fun and can hurt a little and currently I don’t have time for that….

    I often admire Love Junkies, for not getting tire of trying and their bravery. I mean when a relationships fails, I feel like a part of me dies with it.

  5. mkhululie,

    “Alee , get a life…… lol”

    I’m trying not to. And you don’t want me to. A life is the reason my posts are less frequent and more sporadic. So I’m currently attempting to get rid of it. 🙂

    “Busted, It’s a long story…..but I’m not ready to have myself out there yet…I mean when a relationships fails, I feel like a part of me dies with it.”

    I know how you feel, I really do. It is tremendously scary to put yourself out there all the time.

  6. I used to be that way when I was really immature. You never look to another person to complete you– you must do it for yourself. I have outside interests including volunteer work, yoga, running and other hobbies. I think that women especially are guilty of this– seeing a man for what they want him to be as opposed to who he really is. A relationship can’t work based on an ideal– you either take them for who they are or you don’t. We all have flaws, but you can’t change a person unless they really want to do it for themselves. Relationship junkies never get that and their lives stay full of drama because of it. It really is about growing up and facing reality about the situation. I used to be that way, do I know all too well….

  7. I don’t think I’m a love junkie in a way I’m in love with being in love. But I do need love to feel complete. I know this might not be the best thing, but I have to admit I am like this.

  8. Hiii Mira! 🙂

    I know I have love junkie tendencies as well — takes one to know one. In a way I feel like I was meant to be part of a close partnership.

    If you’re like me, you are in love with love, but a truer, deeper, longer-lasting love rather than the “sparks” and romance that other love addicts get into.

  9. I think I’m in love with having someone to share my life with, someone who loves me for who I truly am. I know it seems weak, but I don’t feel complete without it.

  10. I know, it’s just. I don’t know, it seems other people don’t have this need, or maybe I don’t see it, or maybe they just say it in order not to get hurt. I am happy for those who can do things on their own; more power to them. But I am not one of those people. I need a partner. I need someone who loves me and who is there for me, and of course I provide the same to him.

  11. Mira,

    “I know, it’s just. I don’t know, it seems other people don’t have this need, or maybe I don’t see it”

    I think everyone has the need for companionship. Some have it more than others (or are more conscious/aware of it), but everyone has it.

    “or maybe they just say it in order not to get hurt.”

    I highly suspect many people play it “cool” because it’s seen as a shameful thing to really desire a partner. They don’t want to be seen as needy, lacking or defective in some way. They also don’t want to mess things up with potential mates by seeming very eager.

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