In the first look at the concept of “white men don’t like black women”, the why of the phenomenon was discussed — what causes some to say and believe this idea, and what are their motives? Anecdotal evidence of many disagrees with the notion, but what about the actual numbers? Do they suggest, in fact, that white men in America do not like black women?
Recently, a reader named ALfie added a response to the original post, stating that yes, interracial marriage numbers would suggest that the claim that white men don’t black women has some truth to it:
Well it is true according to statistics.
White men choice:
White women: 50000000, Asian women 529000, Other 488000, Black women 168000
Stats show black women are least chosen
Laying aside that these particular stats don’t account for the percentage of each group in the American population, these and similar stats are usually presented as undeniable evidence by proponents of the “white men don’t like black women” theory. Yet as obvious as some may believe it seems, numbers don’t talk — they don’t give any background information; they don’t tell us why.
Marriage Isn’t Simply Attraction
If marriage were just an issue of “man sees woman, man likes woman, man marries woman,” then those who believe white men don’t like black women based on interracial marriage numbers in the United States would, in general, be correct. Marriage, however, results from a variety of factors and influences. Absent strong opposing evidence, one can only conclude that these factors have as much to do, if not more, with the number of interracial marriages as does simple attraction.
Familiarity, Normality, and Approval
Outside of location, three external factors seem to strongly influence whether two people will date and eventually marry: familiarity, normality, and approval. As a whole, these elements aren’t encouraging of the marriage between black women and white men, and may even work against it.
- Familiarity: How familiar are two people with each other; how well do they feel they know each other? Familiarity creates comfort and those who are familiar with each other are more likely to date and marry. White men and black women, in general, occupy vastly different locations and social environments, resulting in a lack of familiarity.
- Normality: Is a certain pairing considered “good”, “normal”, or “usual” in the given surroundings? Would such a pairing be in contrast to others? White men and black women as a couple is seen less in both media and reality, leading to a lack of normality in a feedback loop.
- Approval: What sort of reactions would dating provoke from family, close friends, and from others in the person’s surroundings? Would dating someone cause negative consequences, socially or financially? Studies and commentary exploring interracial relationships have shown that white men and black women alike express worries that interracial dating could bring about undesirable effects.
So, what is the verdict — do white men like black women or not? It’s doubtful that anyone could give an answer that would hold up to all scrutiny. Though one thing is certain: numbers don’t give any answers.
- White Men Don’t Like Black Women? Says Who? — original post