Chemistry in relationships is the way two people interact with and relate to each other, and the effect they have on one another, emotionally, physically, and psychologically. As long as two people are in touch, they have some form of chemistry. But good romantic chemistry — chemistry which causes two people to feel comfortable and want to continue interacting — is a catalyst in relationships; good chemistry creates relationships without much effort.
What Causes Good Romantic Chemistry?
Interpersonally, good chemistry is caused by simply being involved with someone you are in tune with. It is experienced as a “high” or a general feeling of well-being and happiness in the presence of another person. With great chemistry you may be attracted to someone without wanting to be attracted, and without knowing why you are.
Biologically, romantic chemistry is created by the typical “feel good” neurochemicals that cause people to become addicted to intimacy, drugs, or certain types of food. The most important of these, dopamine and oxytocin, create feelings of pleasure, trust, and energy. Your body likes these feelings and desires more of what is creating them — in this case, interacting with the person you have great chemistry with.
Is Chemistry Necessary?
While romantic chemistry provides the spark of instant attraction which causes intimate relationships to be formed immediately, chemistry is not entirely necessary for a relationship to begin. A relationship can be built for other reasons, some of which are more substantial than good feelings. But more importantly chemistry can not sustain a relationship.
Romantic chemistry will not last forever — eventually, being in the presence of another person will cease to have the effect it used to. Just as the pleasure of a certain food decreases with increasing servings, the feeling of energy and euphoria of being with another person wane with time and amount of interaction.
But it’s easy to become addicted to this state of well-being, to become a love junkie who needs these excited feelings to be comfortable in a relationship and feels restless otherwise. Soon you’re off to find a new relationship — or a new high — to recreate these feelings of intoxication. As romantic chemistry lasts a few months to a couple of years, you can repeat this cycle over and over again.
That initial jolt of excitement and well-being may not last forever but true chemistry can. This chemistry is created by rapport and harmony, commitment, and respect for your partner. It’s important to develop these aspects while you’re still in the first highs of new love, to create as smooth a transition as possible from infatuation to loving commitment.
Have you ever experienced good chemistry with another person? How important is chemistry for you in dating and relationships?