Why I Prefer (Much) Taller Men

tall-man-preferenceIn earlier articles I discussed the features I find attractive in men, as well as some features I don’t find as attractive. This post is dedicated to discussing my strongest (and perhaps most controversial) preference in men — height. A man’s height is one of the two most obvious and decisive factors in whether or not I will find him physically attractive.

So, don’t most women have a preference for taller men? Yes, for various reasons which many people have speculated on — from evolutionary influences to social influences to biological reproduction. However, according to many studies most women prefer men who are around 5 inches taller than them, and within the range of 5’9″/1.75 m – 6’2″/1.88 m. My preference is a bit more extreme — I am most attracted men who are on the upper end of that spectrum, and nearly a foot taller than myself.

I’ve long contemplated my preference for tall men, attempting to understand the roots of it. For as far back as I can remember I’ve had this overarching interest in noticeably tall men. There was no particular incident or outside occurrence that influenced the formation of this preference, it always just was; an innate preference. Since I’ve been asked in the past what drives my attraction to extremely tall men, I’ll add the few motivations that can be logically explained:

3. A large height difference increases contrast

As cliché as it sounds, in some ways, in a relationship I’m looking for an opposite, someone different from myself. A taller man provides a clear and large difference, especially for women like me who are also on the taller side.

2. Height adds to the impression of masculinity

Not to increase feelings of insecurity among shorter men, but I find that height can cause a man to appear more traditionally masculine. As men are naturally taller than women, perhaps instinctively taller men are viewed as more masculine.

1. Tall often mean slimmer and longer limbs

In addition to my preference for height, I also have a preference for slimmer men with long limbs. Height spreads out weight so a person appears slimmer, and the taller someone is the longer their limbs become.

While I can add a few reasons, most of my preference simply can’t be logically explained. And it is important to add that while I have a strong preference for tall men, it is a preference, it isn’t a requirement. I’m open to dating and have dated men who are shorter than my preference and even shorter than average, given that I’m attracted to them for other reasons.

What do you think of physical preferences? Do you have a height preference for those shorter or taller than you?

See also:

Advertisements

34 thoughts on “Why I Prefer (Much) Taller Men

  1. Funny that as I have a preference for women with slender thighs and small tight butts. I’m not bothered how tall they are. Not influenced by breast size. My last girlfriend had little apart from nipples my present girlfriend has 28 HH cup and I liked both.
    Wouldn’t do for us all to like the same things would it? It would be a very boring world.

  2. Hey Miss Alee,
    I think we all have a flavor we like a lot, but that does not mean that we won’t try other things. Height has never been a big draw for me; I am partial to broad shoulders and strong backs (the big V!)

  3. billy,

    Interesting preferences there. 😛

    “Wouldn’t do for us all to like the same things would it? It would be a very boring world.”

    Indeed!

  4. I have a friend who really likes this guy (and he feels the same) but refuses to date him because he’s 5cm shorter than her… Whilst I think she’s being the most unreasonable monkey ever your post sort of makes it make sense!

    Bonne Nuit xx

  5. Hi gwmv, good to see you!

    Lol, I think we’re talking about two different situations here. See, I would never be really attracted to a guy 5 cm shorter than me. So I wouldn’t have that dilemma. 😛

    Mine isn’t a self-imposed boundary, I just am very rarely attracted to shorter men. I think I’ve been once in my entire life. I’ve liked many guys who were the same height as me or just a bit taller, however.

  6. I’ll offer my longer reply a bit later, just to correct you here: 6’2″ is not 2m. It’s actually around 1.88 m. 2m is around 6’7″.

  7. I am short in a country where average height for men is about 5’11”- 6′ so I’ve never even met a guy who was 5cm (2inches) shorter than me. I don’t think I’ve ever met a guy who was only 5cm taller than me (hmmm… maybe once or twice).

    So I suppose I am just used to men (or women, for that matter) being taller than me. However, I didn’t notice a special preference in me for exceptionally tall men. Though all guys I’ve ever dated were more than 5 inches taller than me. I am not a kind of a girl who’d approach a guy first so whoever I dated was usually the one who expressed his interest. The shortest was maybe 5’9″ or something, and I’ve dated guys 6’3″ and up so my conclusion is that short guys weren’t really interested in me. One would think it’s strange since I am a short girl and shorter than them so they had a chance to be taller than their gf (which is not possible with a taller girl – plus, many Serbian girls are into high heels). But looks like it wasn’t their priority (to be taller than the girl), or maybe it was something in me that made short guys disinterested.

    But I don’t think I’ve ever had special preferences in the height department, really. I am known for my, ahm, strong preferences when it comes to other things, but interestingly enough, height is not one of them.

  8. Mira, you’re right…I thought that number looked rather high. Maybe I was thinking of 2m since that’s around my my ideal height for a guy. Lol.

    “One would think it’s strange since I am a short girl and shorter than them so they had a chance to be taller…But looks like it wasn’t their priority”

    It turns out that height isn’t as much of a factor for men as it is for women…Shocking, isn’t it? 😀

    In one of the studies I read which included thousands of men and women from ages 18-65, men did have an overall preference for women shorter but they also liked women around the same height as them and even almost 2 inches taller!

    This certainly vibes with my experience: I get a not small amount of men who are shorter, only an inch or two taller, or the same height as me interested in me. They don’t seem to mind that as soon as I put on even regular heels (not even the super heels most women wear these days) I’ll be towering over them.

    “I am known for my, ahm, strong preferences when it comes to other things, but interestingly enough, height is not one of them.”

    I’m glad the women here are so open-minded. I’m sure months and years from now several men will happen upon this post and comment on how mean and superficial I am for liking taller men…so your comments are some solace for them.

  9. Well, like I said, I have strong preferences in other areas so it’s not like I’m open minded about this, not really. It’s just something I don’t pay attention to, especially if my preferences are fulfilled.

  10. I prefer tall, but that was never a dealbreaker–I dated guys who were short–even shorter than me (I’m 5’5″). I prefer lean, but dated guys who were fat (though I am slim). The only dealbreaker for me, as far as genetics goes, is intelligence. I dig IQ the way most women dig height! Genius trumps everything else, for me.

  11. Short men have major complexes that I’m unwilling to deal with. Swiss men tend to be shorter than other Nordic Europeans and trust, with all their wealth and stability, the chips on their shoulders are annoying as heck!. I’ve never had to stroke so many egos before in my life!. LOL!.

    Nonetheless, overly tall men are unsightly for my taste, ie, if you mean basketball tall men, Alee. Sorry, YUCK!. I’m more attracted to a guy I can easily

  12. ….reach to wrap my arms around his neck by easing on my toes.

    I couldn’t continue in the same post. The cursor kept going back to the beginning when I pressed the ENTER key.

  13. Is it because you’re above average tall, Alee, that you’re more attracted to super tall guys?. Or are you one of these below average short women who like such (dis)proportions?.

  14. I think preferences are great and people should be able to have them without any backlash.

    When it comes to height, yes I do have a preference. It might be weird, but I’m 5’1″, and I have never dated a guy shorter than 6’0. I don’t know where this preference came from but it is what it is. My husband is taller than 6’0, so it works out for us. I have a friend who is 5’7″ and she wouldn’t ever date a guy below 6’5″. Her husband is 6’7″. Come to think of it, all of my short friends (<5'5") are all married to men who are at least 6'0. Weird.

  15. The thing is that, let’s face it, being short is not a beauty standard and short men know it. Some deal with it without a problem while some develop insecurities. Now, I personally don’t see insecurities as such a bad thing (in fact, over confidence is what I find much more annoying) but I can’t help thinking that some short men feel like they have something to prove. In this case, that they are manly and attractive enough to make a conventionally pretty girl fall for him.

    This seems to be my experience (and also a reason why short guys were rarely interested in the plain-looking, short me). I don’t fit beauty standards in my culture (which is basically a 5’8″ model-like girl), so dating me is not a prize on itself. Dating me doesn’t prove they can get a hot girl despite being short. In fact, dating me only proves they can’t do any better than to date a short, plain-looking girl.

    Tall guys, on the other hand, have nothing to prove in the height department. They know their height is seen as a beauty standard and they know they can get women of all heights interested in them. So when choosing who to date, they go after their personal preferences or who they happen to like, even if the girl they choose is not hot by the conventional standards.

    Now that I think about it – and it might be a good idea for a post, Alee – in a way, it’s easier for a plain looking girl to date a hot guy than someone who is not considered good looking simply because hot guys have nothing to prove so they will date any girl they personally like even if she is not hot by the conventional standards. Guys who are seen as unattractive often go after only conventionally hot girls to prove they are able to get those girls interested in them. As a result, a plain looking or a homely girl has paradoxically more chances to be honestly* approached by a hot guy than an unattractive one.

    * I said “honestly” because I don’t count when guys approach unattractive girls because they think these girls would want them, or would be more ready to have sex, or that these girls are ok until a more attractive one arrives, etc.

  16. Hi Amy,

    “The only dealbreaker for me, as far as genetics goes, is intelligence. I dig IQ the way most women dig height! Genius trumps everything else, for me.”

    Intelligence, of course. Yeah, there’s that too. 🙂

    I guess intelligence is great but I don’t need a magnificently intelligent guy (especially if he’s also cold/impersonal like some very smart people are). Moderate intelligence is fine with me; as long as he can hold a conversation.

    foosrock,

    “Short men have major complexes that I’m unwilling to deal with. Swiss men tend to be shorter than other Nordic Europeans”

    There goes any possible attraction I could have had to Swiss men. 😛

    “I couldn’t continue in the same post. The cursor kept going back to the beginning when I pressed the ENTER key.”

    Maybe you could try another browser? WordPress seems to work well on Firefox.

    “Nonetheless, overly tall men are unsightly for my taste, ie, if you mean basketball tall men, Alee.”

    Is it because they play basketball or because they’re really tall?

    Anyway, yes. Basketball players have my ideal body type.

    “Is it because you’re above average tall, Alee, that you’re more attracted to super tall guys?. Or are you one of these below average short women who like such (dis)proportions?”

    I’m above average height but not so much that I need a 6’6″ (example) guy. I just like them.

  17. Eliss,

    “When it comes to height, yes I do have a preference. It might be weird, but I’m 5’1″, and I have never dated a guy shorter than 6’0.”

    All you shorties taking the tall men. 😛

    “I have a friend who is 5’7″ and she wouldn’t ever date a guy below 6’5″.’

    Lol, I’m not that strict. 6’3″ isn’t bad. Ha.

    ‘Her husband is 6’7″.’

    *swoons*

    Froggie,

    “Personally, I’m not into (Much) Taller Men.”

    It’s okay, I still love you *kisses*

    Mira,

    “Now that I think about it – and it might be a good idea for a post, Alee – in a way, it’s easier for a plain looking girl to date a hot guy than someone who is not considered good looking simply because hot guys have nothing to prove so they will date any girl they personally like even if she is not hot by the conventional standards.”

    Hmmm…a lot of “hot” guys think they need a “hot” girl to match. They won’t even sniff at other women because they think they’re too cute. They’re arrogant, and their looks allow them to have their pick of women.

    Honestly, I think the majority of men, hot or not, rarely go outside of what is conventionally considered good-looking. They seem concerned with their peers approving of their spouse, having someone to make them look good, or they have this “I deserve/need/want a ‘hot’ woman” mentality. But I could see that happening with a nore open-minded hot guy.

  18. The use of the term ‘hot’ to describe people is dehumanizing. Ok, I’m mostly joking, but thinking about the word ‘hot’ and how it is used got me thinking. Human society places too much emphasis on appearance and attractiveness. I think people should be judged more on the content of their character and not on whether or not they make it into the positive side of the hotness scale. Personally, I think when people do this it is counterproductive. A prime example of this is in the workplace.
    Attractive people will often be rewarded with promotion not because of how they contribute to the success of the company, but because of how attractive they are. People who aren’t attractive will often experience less upward movement in the workplace and may even experience a hostile work environment because of their appearance.
    I say let people rise to the top because of their skills and talents. Attractiveness will do less to improve a company than such attributes.

  19. Hmmm…a lot of “hot” guys think they need a “hot” girl to match

    I don’t agree. From my vast experience this has proven to be not true. I’m certainly not HOT(facially), like, eg, Naomie Harris, but only attract HOT guys. I’m talking, Viggo Mortenson, Paul Walker, Gabriel what’s his name who was married? to Halle Berry hot guys. They like my wit, my craziness, my giriliness

  20. @ Froggie, whatevs with that post. You’re a man, YOU (and nature) made the rules and we women follow. Stop trying to change it.

  21. Alee,

    Oh, sure, some (most of?) attractive guys will only go after conventionally attractive women. Still, there ARE those who don’t care what society thinks they should date and who go after what they, personally, find attractive in a woman. I guess it’s the same with average looking and unattractive guys, BUT! – my experience (which seems to match foosrock’s experience) there are more attractive guys who do it than unattractive guys.

    I mean, it can’t be just me. I am not a hot girl by my culture’s standards and I’ve always had more luck with attractive guys than those who are seen as unattractive. It doesn’t mean all or most of attractive guys were into me (they weren’t), but that guys who were into me were usually attractive (definitely more attractive than me). I’ve had more luck attracting “hot” guys than plain or homely ones. Not sure why, but my reasoning is explained in the above post.

    Simply put, guys who are seen as unattractive often need to prove they can attract a hot woman. Many of them have this ideal in mind and they dream about having a conventionally hot girl. Attractive guys – well, some of them – do go after hot girls only. But there is a surprising number of those who feel like they have nothing to prove. They’ve dated conventionally hot girls and they know they can attract them. They know they are hot. Also, some of them don’t really care about what society thinks they should date – and in a weird way, those who have nothing to prove are often more open to dating whoever they want (even if society disapproves) than those who feel they need to prove they are manly or attractive enough (which is often with short guys or guys who are seen as unattractive).

    I suppose, sometimes, it works for women, too. Hot women are often ok with dating men who are not seen as attractive (there are many tall women here who are totally ok with dating a guy who is shorter than them, or a bald guy, etc.) Women who are not considered attractive might have an ideal hot guy in mind and they might want to date only that kind of guys (this isn’t true for me, I promise! :P)

  22. “The use of the term ‘hot’ to describe people is dehumanizing. Ok, I’m mostly joking, but thinking about the word ‘hot’ and how it is used got me thinking. Human society places too much emphasis on appearance and attractiveness.”

    Yes, Froggie, it does. But that’s the reality of the situation. Personally, when I use the word “hot” I’m only using it to describe what society generally considers attractive, not what I personally find appealing.

  23. foosrock,

    “I don’t agree. From my vast experience this has proven to be not true. I’m certainly not HOT(facially), like, eg, Naomie Harris, but only attract HOT guys.”

    I’ve never seen you but I don’t think you sound difficult to look at, at least. 😛

    Mira,

    “I am not a hot girl by my culture’s standards and I’ve always had more luck with attractive guys than those who are seen as unattractive.”

    Maybe I need to move to Europe. Because here, 9 times out of 10, you are not getting a good-looking guy unless you’re also good-looking. Period. The end. There are some exceptions to this but they are noticeable because they are different from the norm.

    I didn’t think the U.S. was so unique in regarding a woman’s appearance as her most important asset in dating and life in general, but perhaps it is.

  24. Hmmm… I actually believe US is more flexible than Eastern Europe when it comes to what’s considered attractive. I mean, many of the celebs that are considered super hot in the US would be seen as average or even unattractive in my part of the world (here understood as Eastern Europe, not Europe in general). I can name so many celebs who’d be seen as too fat or “having too big ass to be seen as hot” here. For example, Scarlet Johansson’s body type is barely acceptable and while she’d be seen as hot, there would be people advising her to lose weight and she with 5 kg less would certainly be seen as hotter.

    So all in all, I kind of have a feeling it’s actually easier to be seen as hot or even average in the US than here. Not sure about Western and Northern Europe, but I can sadly guarantee it for EE.

    Also, being less attractive than your guy will attract some looks and questions (I’ve been there numerous times). People wonder why he’s with her (and usually conclude that she’s probably giving good blow jobs – I kid you not, this is the main reason people use here to explain it).

    But at the end of the day, it does seem like the pressure to have a hot girl is stronger for the less attractive guys because it’s not just about dating someone hot, it’s about proving they are worthy and manly enough and charming and skilled and what not to get a girl like that. Which somehow translates to less attractive guys rarely being interested in girls like me. Girls like me are not a prize.

    Again, most hot guys ignore girls like me, but seems like they are still more open to date who they are truly attracted to than the homely guys. The thing is, beauty standards in my country are so narrow that they exclude many things, even some things many men privately find attractive. For example, being thin is an imperative, and many – most of – thin women don’t have large breasts. Obviously, thin women with large boobs are seen as the hottest, but there aren’t many of them around (unless they use plastic surgery – but it’s expensive and still reserved for celebs and starlets and girls with rich fathers). So if a guy wants to date a tall, thin girl (which is a beauty imperative), he has to accept that her boobs are small.

    The thing is, many guys (at least here) like big boobs. But big boobs rarely come on tall, thin, model-like girls. So guys are encouraged to ignore their private preferences and go with what’s considered hot. They are encouraged to ignore girls with a bit of a meat on their bones, but these girls might actually physically have attributes they privately find attractive, such as big boobs or a hourglass figure. Not all guys are ready to say: “fuck it, I like boobs and I find her attractive even if she’s not model-like”.

    Also, body type seems to be more important here than facial features. A girl with a large nose or another facial feature that’s not considered attractive but with a model body will be seen as hotter than the one with a pretty face but a “wrong” body type. However, there are guys who may privately like girls with pretty faces regardless of the body type so if they choose based on this preference they might end up with a girl who is considered unattractive. Etc, etc.

    Finally, for some reason I don’t get (but I’ve never complained, lol) there are some tall guys who actually prefer short girls. (They attract all the “giving blow jobs while standing” jokes, but I guess they don’t care).

  25. What I’ve found (again from my vast experience. lol) is the men like a pretty face. If it comes with a body they like, then they go apeshit. Otherwise a pretty face trumps EVERYTHING.
    @ Mira: Seriously, Eastern European women are simply, GORGEOUS. Face, body, height and hair. They generally have it all. Not
    surprised men in your part of Europe are soooooo picky!!!.

  26. Alee,
    I know. I’m mostly (99%) just giving you guys a hard time. The rest is just stream of consciousness.

    Foosrock,
    I don’t really take issue with the status quo. So lets just leave things the way they are :p

  27. Mira,

    “Hmmm… I actually believe US is more flexible than Eastern Europe when it comes to what’s considered attractive”

    Body type maybe (maybe, thinner is still preferred overall), but face no. Height isn’t so much of a concern with women. I think it’s just a different emphasis — your culture is strict on body type, U.S. culture is strict on facial appearance.

    foosrock,

    “@ Froggie, whatevs with that post. You’re a man, YOU (and nature) made the rules and we women follow. Stop trying to change it.”

    Froggie doesn’t think like most guys; he’s different…he’s an idealist. Maybe a hopeless one. 🙂

    Also, it’s Froggie’s birthday today! Hooray!

  28. I like them tall, lucky when I found Mr. Berg he was tall 6’4″ but I was very surprised he found me attractive, since I’m 5’8″ many tall men had no interest in me. They seem to like ‘spinners’ (short women). I usually dated men a little taller than me 5’11” or so, my ex husband was that tall. But all my adult life, short men have loved me and I’ve had strange short men trying to devote themselves to me. LOL. One of the best things about living here is that most of the white guys here are tall b/c there are lot of ppl of Scandanavian descent here. I think I got the preference b/c most of the men in my life as child were tall, my dad was 6’7″.

  29. Hi Eugienia!

    “I like them tall, lucky when I found Mr. Berg he was tall 6’4″ but I was very surprised he found me attractive, since I’m 5’8″ many tall men had no interest in me.”

    Hey, you’re around my height and I’ve dated many a tall guy. 🙂

    “They seem to like ‘spinners’ (short women).”

    Lol, there are some. But then there are those who think the extreme height difference is weird and go for more average height or tall women.

    “But all my adult life, short men have loved me and I’ve had strange short men trying to devote themselves to me. LOL.”

    It is weird isn’t it? Lol. Well, at least they’re showing some confidence and ignoring societal expectations.

    ‘I think I got the preference b/c most of the men in my life as child were tall, my dad was 6’7″.’

    My dad is a foot shorter! Ha.

  30. I happen to be a 5-6, 41 year old male. A couple of observations:

    1) Whenever I read articles about the dating struggles of short men, they always focus on short guys who can’t seem to get dates with women who are taller than them. I have never understood this. First of all, I am not at all insulted if a woman who is 5-10 doesn’t want to date me. Why? I don’t know. But it doesn’t bother me. The same goes for other short men I have known over the years. Now if a woman who is 5-0 doesn’t want to date me because I’m shorter than 5-10 or whatever, that might bother me more. After all, I am still 6 inches taller than her. And yet most of these studies and articles focus on guys having issues dating taller women. They need to be focusing on short guys who have troubles dating women who are shorter than them. If they did this, my guess is that the situation wouldn’t be as bad for short men as we are led to believe.

    2) I am a firm believer that for many women their preference for tall men changes with age. I think as people age the fairy tale image of romance tends to fade, and the realities of life really start to set in. People in my age group start to develop health problems, their parents die or suffer dementia, their kid from a previous marriage is acting out, etc. It becomes so much more important to pick a partner not based on “image,” but more based on who they are as a person. Values, character, dependability and reliability become really crucial. I’m not saying that romance and attraction aren’t important, but you lessen your standards when it comes to these things as you age. A shift occurs.

    3) I also feel that once most women go through a variety of dating experiences, a variety of relationships, a divorce or two, etc., what they look for in a man really changes. They begin to realize that they will never have it all in a male partner, and that the Cinderella/Knight in Shining Armor fairy tales that they were brought up with in Disney films and romance novels are just that…..fairy tales. Hence, they start placing a higher value on other things.

    4) I have always been a firm believer that people fall in love with who they fall in love with, and that a lot of women’s concerns with dating short men are based on their fears of what other people will think about them. Will her parents be disappointed? Will her girlfriends tease her? I knew one 5-5 guy who was a real catch whose girlfriend broke up with him because she could no longer tolerate her friends and family constantly talking about his shortness. As many women age, I think they become more secure in their own decisions and judgments, and they are more willing to go their own way even if certain friends or family members are against it.

    5) I can confirm all of this because I am way more successful with attracting women at 41 than I was at 28. I’m no more financially successful or confident right now than I was back then. I’ve never been married, and up to this point, I can’t say that I’ve had a lot of dating experience. Perhaps I have changed in some ways, but I really have noticed the change in women who are in my age group. The whole thing is much more comfortable.

  31. I’m a 27 year old woman and I’ve been 5’7.5 feet tall since I graduated high school. I grew an extra inch at 17, making me the height I am now. I’ve dealt with enough people telling me I’m either too tall, not tall at all, or they wish I was taller. Some of those people were the same heights but different preferences so I’m not just selfish when I say that I prefer a taller man, mainly because that’s what I’m attracted to. I like the whole idea of feeling protected by a man much bigger than me, but I’m simply more comfortable with a taller man. I like how they look better than guys who are my height, and thats just the way it is. People think that me only going for guys 6ft and taller is selfish? We’ll you’re completely wrong. It’s no different than a man or woman who says they prefer to date thinner and not fatter, or liking a certain ethnicity, or if they go for people who like Harley’s, sophistication, or country. I wish there would come a day when people would just stop worrying about what everyone else is doing with their lives, and not care what other people think! Date whoever you want whether people like it or not! It’s your life not theirs. Now I know your article wasn’t bashing anyone, I agree with you! I’m just bringing up a point! I’m sick of people saying that women who prefer taller men are selfish. Please, please stop with that already! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s