(Mis)Diagnosing Personality

Does our culture promote the labeling of regular variations in behavior and personality as abnormal and disordered?

It has been announced that the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM-V, will contain some significant updates. The DSM, published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), is considered the standard for understanding and classifying mental disorders in the U.S. and around the world.

With recent changes, however, the manual and the 30,000+ psychiatrists who oversee its contents have come under heavy criticism. This is because the new edition to be published later in May contains criteria which would classify such common behavior as tantrums, overeating, and grief as personality disorders. For example, those who grieve over the loss of a loved one or a relationship for more than what is considered necessary would be seen as suffering from Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD) and kids who are stubbornly broody and have outbursts would be displaying Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD).

Critics of the new manual include many psychiatrists, like the head of the National Institute of Mental Health who says the manual, “lacks scientific validity”. Other health professionals and the public alike have put pressure on the APA to revise its changes, believing that the current update would encourage the labeling of normal people as unwell and in need of serious psychiatric help, including medications.

Others, like myself believe that the APA’s updates are a part of a global culture of diagnosing undesirable personality traits as mental illness. Although the average person isn’t aware of how symptoms specifically manifest and how severe they can be, many personality disorders have become common parlance as a way of dismissing people who we don’t get along with or understand. Thus:

• That odd person who is rather cold, blunt, and a loner has antisocial personality disorder.
• The grating boss who is concerned with order and conformity has obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
• The woman who is emotionally intense and expressive has borderline personality disorder.

The APA claims that their diagnoses are made to better understand people and ensure they receive the best treatment for their mental health. Despite this, it can’t be ignored that these conditions have been popularized and are now used not to understand but to stigmatize and exclude those whose behaviors don’t line up with the society’s –or a specific person’s– ideal and norm of personality. Instead of trying to understand and empathize with others we have learned to simply classify them as “crazy”.

So, is the publicizing of personality disorders and mental illness wrong? I don’t believe so. I agree that it is helpful and necessary to understand the various ways that personality can manifest, I believe it is also necessary to understand that these are not personality disorders but personalities, well within the realm of normal human behavior, response, and outlook.

See also:

• The Armchair Psychologist

Open Question: Does Persistence Pay Off?

Everyone has their view on whether being persistent in dating works and whether one should even bother trying to get the attention and affections of a person who hasn’t reciprocated their interest. Many also have the opinion that being overly persistent can be an invasion of another person’s personal space and peace of mind. But does being persistent actually work or is it simply the last measure in a desperate situation?

My view on persistence is that it is highly dependent on the particular situation — sometimes it works wonderfully, other times it fails miserably. If the one being pursued had some initial interest or was unsure if they shared the interest that someone showed in them, persistence may pay off. By being persistent the pursuer shows that they are deeply interested and would take extra steps to make sure that something comes of it. On the other hand, if the one being pursued showed no initial interest and continued to show no interest, continuing to being persistent will only serve to annoy them and almost certainly fail.

What do you think — does persistence in courting and dating work? Has persistence worked for you or with you in previous relationships or your current relationship?

Zoe Saldana

Zoe Yadira Saldana is an American actress, dancer, and model of Dominican and Puerto Rican descent. She is known for such best-selling films like Colombiana and Avatar. She is set to star in the upcoming film Star Trek Into Darkness and as Nina Simone in an upcoming biopic on the jazz singer.

Born in New Jersey, as a child Zoe moved to the Dominican Republic with her mother and sisters after her father’s passing. There she cultivated her love of dance and theater, taking ballet lessons and attending the ECOS Espacio de Danza Academy, a renowned school of dance in the Dominican Republic. When her family moved back to the United States she joined FACES Theater Company, a theater group for young adults.

It was her work with the New York Youth Theater, however, that got her noticed as an actress and helped her to land her debut role. Zoe was right up her alley starring as Eva Rodriguez in the 2000 film Center Stage, about a group of teenage dancers dealing with the ups and downs of professional dancing. Around this time she began dating fellow actor Keith Britton, who she later became engaged to in 2010.

Zoe appeared in various roles before playing Anamaria in the film Pirates of the Caribbean: , the first in a series of top films starring such actors as Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom.

As Eva in Center Stage

Although Pirates of the Caribbean increased her popularity and fan base, Zoe didn’t like her experience working on the film, saying “If that’s what I have to…go through to do a Hollywood movie, I’d rather do something else.” For a brief period she considered shunning Hollywood for the theater or professional dancing.

Future roles would impress her more positively as she starred in the critically acclaimed science fiction film Avatar in 2009. An admitted science fiction geek, Zoe enjoyed working on Avatar even though it was her most challenging role yet, requiring her to learn another language and play a non-human character. Earlier that year Zoe starred in Star Trek, a remake of the classic earlier film, securing her role in its 2013 sequel Into Darkness.

Zoe makes no apologies about embracing sexuality and sexual roles, being quoted several times on her views. She once stated, “Basically, there’s not enough sex in movies, that’s it. I’m trying to say it, people. I miss sex in movies because sex is natural, guns are not.” As for her own sexuality, above all, she is confident, famously saying in a Latina magazine interview:

“Look at me. I’m skinny, I have a big nose, no tits and no ass, but in a room full of beautiful women, I would still leave with the most gorgeous guy.”

Considering her previous roles have been as powerful and empowering women, is Zoe the new go-to actress for action films featuring a strong female lead? Possibly, and it’s a job she’d embrace saying, “I really hope so. That would be an awesome thing where it’s like, ‘Oh, we just need a kick ass female, call Zoe Saldana.’ I would love that.”

When not working on films Zoe makes her home in Los Angeles with her dog Mugsy.

See also:

• 7 Celebrities I’m Not Tired of Hearing About – #3

Techniques of the Manipulator: Gaslighting

Today’s discussion on commonly used tactics and tools of the manipulative personality is gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse and control where a person is made to doubt their memory and perception of reality. In order to achieve this aim gaslighters present another, untrue version of events or ideas to the person they are trying to gaslight, while continuously denying said person’s claims as false, if not delusional.

Out of all forms of emotional warfare, gaslighting is one of the most intriguing. It is subtle, cunning, and extremely malevolent, but can indicate insecurity on the part of the gaslighter — since they believe they can not counter the other person’s claims, they simply deny that they exist. Gaslighters can seem harmless, if not helpful and well-informed. Through apparent innocence, charm, and/or insistence, they can convince not only the other person, but those who are aware of or observing the situation. Gaslighters are always a generally manipulative personality –whether aware of it or not– and gaslighting is but one tool of many in their belt.

Gaslighting can take place in many ways, and in a variety of situations. A parent telling a child that what they saw they really did not, a husband insisting that the perfume his wife smells on him after work is really her own, a woman telling her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend that he never cared about her.

Gaslighting involves various angles, some popular ones being:

• Repeated questioning and recreating of events (“Are you sure you were chosen to organize the project? Are you certain he said that?”)

• Insisting on another version of reality (“I really don’t think that’s what happened when you talked. What really happened is he dumped and you got angry.”)

• Claiming to be in the know (“You know, your ex-friend told me some things about what you did when you visited her house. She told me all about it.”)

• Dropping hints and “secrets” (You think your husband goes on business meetings? Your husband goes to the local hotel. All of the neighbors are talking about it, didn’t you know?)

Gaslighters use these techniques in such a way that their assertions seem completely plausible and utterly true — they are pros at what they do. However, an individual’s mind is stronger. If a person knows and believes their own mind and can vividly recall events, they will be a great challenge to the gaslighter. When presented with the covert psychological control of gaslighting, remember that strength of mind wins out over manipulation and psychological bullying every time.

Have you ever experienced gaslighting? How did you respond?

See also:

• The Manipulative Personality

A Look Into the Mind of a Woman

Note: This is a (mostly) satirical post

Adam, Eve. Regis, Kelly. Men, women. There are many similarities between the two, yet many differences. Members of both genders complain that the other is hard to understand or get along with. This could be a legitimate complaint and that’s why here I present a quick and fun guide for men to the opposite gender, women. These ideas are reflective of the thoughts, behavior, and attitudes of some women, not necessarily all.

-It’s not PMS. It’s you

Before you conclude that a woman who is irritable or cranky must be having premenstrual symptoms, check to see if you’re not the cause of her less-than-happy attitude.

-Your looks do count

You may have all the confidence and money, but never get the idea that your appearance doesn’t matter. Looks do count, to a greater or lesser extent, to all women. The theory that women are not visual is simply not true. Now go put on a nice suit!

-Men and women are still not equal

No, despite all the gains that have been made in gender equality, men still have advantages over women in many areas of life. Don’t act so surprised and quit complaining about affirmative action for women.

-Marriage isn’t just a formality

Wondering why women see marriage as the goal of relationships? It’s because marriage has real benefits, both tangible and intangible. marriage is symbolic of a true desire for commitment and devotion to another person. So that idea you had about living together in perfectly unwedded bliss? Time to find a better idea.

-Women dressing up is not about men

In case you thought that women were wearing those stiletto heels and perfect make-up just to impress you, think again. Women dress to impress themselves, and other women.

-Pick-up lines are more than annoying

Being approached day after day with the same cheesy, generic pick-up lines can be tiresome. An honest, but confident approach would be appreciated, but ultimately who a man is, determines whether a woman will reciprocate interest or not.

-A little caring goes a long way

It’s been said before, but showing you are genuinely interested in a woman and her life and interests can go a long way, whether you’re male or female. Everyone likes to feel appreciated.

-Every woman is unique

I know — this is a guide about how women think, right? Yes, but although women have some general characteristics in common, all women are different. Any attempts to put all women in one box will fail because each women comes with her own quirks, interests, and bothers. All just for you.

Now, those are my thoughts. Any women reading have anything they’d like to add to this list? This could become a never-ending guide for the other half of our species.

Gossip: Creating Insecurity

Gossip — one of the most popular and enduring pastimes, an activity that spans cultures and generations. Most of us have engaged in it at one point or another. Although most people would deny the title “gossiper” and when consciously aware of it, try to stay away from gossip, many of us regularly participate in discussing rumors about others.

Even though many willing take part in gossiping, most people have been the victims of negative gossip. What makes gossip so irresistible? Those who study social dynamics and psychology claim that gossip helps to create a sense of community and bonds between people, warns against danger, and teaches lessons about morality. However, they acknowledge that gossip can be a double-edged sword — undermining the benefits it is thought to created.

Creating Community

Superficially, gossiping about others can serve to bring people together through the sharing of information and common knowledge. As with any discussion, people may find points of similarity in their views and interests and forms bonds as a result.

On a deeper level, however, gossiping creates mistrust between people. If someone will gossip about one person, what makes others safe from having rumors spread about them as well? In addition, the person being gossiped about feels anything but included or part of the community.

Teaching Lessons

Negative rumors make clear what behavior and situations will not be tolerated among a group of people. Those whose actions cause them to be the topic of gossip learn quickly what is acceptable or expected of them.

A greater lesson that may be learned is that of secrecy. While some may change their ways to more fit the community they are a part of, others may not change but simply keep their thoughts and actions to themselves. This further undermines the community and bonds that gossiping is supposed to create, as people feel they must keep their lives to themselves or suffer the consequences.

In my view, the most obvious impact of rumors and gossiping is insecurity. Both on the part of those gossiping and those being gossiped about. The cons far outweigh the pros, so I don’t take part in it, when possible.

What do you think of gossip? Have you ever been the subject of a rumor and what do you think the effects were?

Recommend a Book

Do you have a favorite book? A book you’ve read and like to discuss?

In addition to the regular movie reviews that are written, I will now be writing reviews of books I’ve recently read.

While I have books in mind to write on, I’m willing to consider any book suggestions that blog readers may have. The book can be of any type or genre — nonfiction or fiction, long or short, and of any era. The only requirement for suggestions is that the book must be written or translated in English.

Every month I will read a book and write about it here. The book reviews will contain a bit on the author and his or her writing style, analysis of the main themes of the story and any social aspects that may apply. Each book will also be given a grade based on the author’s writing and the book overall.

Feel free to suggest as many books as you’d like in the comments below.

The Black Best Friend

Clueless‘ Cher with her Black Best Friend Dionne

The Black Best Friend (BBF) is a figure common in Western literature and, particularly, film and television. The BBF is often a nondescript, unremarkable character who serves as a sidekick, accomplice, or colleague to the main characters who are the focus of the story.

The Black Best Friend’s purpose is thought to be to create diversity and inclusion, and be more reflective of the ethnic make-up of many Western societies. This is supported by the fact that the BBF doesn’t have to be black; the Asian Best Friend or the Hispanic Best Friend is also shown. Whatever their specific ethnic background, the BBF is always the only non-white character or one of few in a larger cast, and always plays a supporting role to white star of the piece.

Creating Contrast

While the apparent reason for the inclusion of the BBF in popular culture is to create diversity and inclusion, just by being present the BBF highlights the difference between themselves and the main characters. In a crowd of all-white characters, the BBF seems like the odd one out and is more noticeable as a result. The most glaring characteristic of Black Best Friends, however, are their lack of character development.

Bland or Typical

The BBF, being merely an accent to the main character, lacks any true personality. Often the character’s background and interests are simply excluded from the story, or given little attention. In these cases the character is made to be as similar to the main character as possible — other than their physical appearance, they are portrayed as “just like everyone else”.

Other times the character is a walking, talking stereotype of their racial or ethnic group. Thus the Black Best Friend is often bossy or uses improper English, the Hispanic Sidekick is sassy and has an accent, and the Asian Friend is good with math or electronics and socially awkward.

The Black Best Friend or Nothing?

From one view, the Black Best Friend and related figures highlight the lack of interest and thought of creators of popular culture in characters who don’t fit the majority population. On the other hand, at the very least, with the BBF there is some representation of non-white groups — it is a start. The alternative for the present seems to be to completely exclude minority groups from popular culture.

So is the Black Best Friend better than nothing at all? If the Black Best Friend ever evolves to become a whole, not-so-stereotypical character with their own thoughts and interests other than serving a secondary role to the main character, that could come to be the case.

Happy Birthday to Alee

Did you ever guess I’d be saying it again? It’s that time again — it’s my birthday, also known as the Best Day of the Year.

Here’s to wishing that this day and year bring even more success than the last. I hope everyone has a good day!

Open Question: Should Women Pursue Men?

Since publishing the response article Why the Man Has to Chase I’ve received several comments and emails from men and women alike explaining why, or why not, they agree with the premise of the post. For the most part, the men who have written in do not agree with the idea that while women can initiate contact, women are more successful in dating and relationships if they leave the pursuing and chasing to men.

In contrast, the vast majority of women who have given their responses agree with the article and have given their experiences with dating that support the theory behind it. In the females’ experience, for a variety of reasons, pursuing men they have found attractive has been mostly unsuccessful.

Now, I ask readers, considering all factors: your experiences, personal beliefs, and any others: do you think women should pursue men?

One part of my view is contained in the earlier post — no, women should not pursue men because men don’t want to be chased. Men, if they’re interested, will show this interest in some way, thus making chasing men unnecessary.

However, the idealist in me does believe that women should pursue men. After all, this makes securing the man she finds the most attractive, easier, instead of choosing from the men who show interest. In a world without gender bias and norms, women would and should approach men. Unfortunately, we do not live in that world.

What is your view? Should women pursue men or not?